For that reason, Chaz had seemed like the ideal boyfriend. What Gemma had with him cost her almost nothing and scared her not at all. No giddiness, no goosebumps, no spikes of neurosis or crushing disappointments or risking her own downfall.
There was a lot to be said for things that were light. Light books. Light movies. Light meals. Sometimes you just needed something that wouldn't bring bad surprises or tears. But she was realizing that at this particular time in her life, she did not need or want a light boyfriend.
Her feelings for Chaz had become completely insubstantial. She cared a lot more about Jude, her not-boyfriend, her business associate.
Should she end things with Chaz?
She weighed the question. In response came a flood ofyes. It wasn't doing Chaz any favors for her to take up space as his barely-there girlfriend. And she earnestly didn't want to continue this anymore.
She dialed his number.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hey.” She didn't like the nicknamebabe. “Listen, I think we should have a talk.”
Long pause. “Uh-oh. Are you breaking up with me?”
“Actually, yes,” she said gently. “I am.”
* * *
In Gemma's dream, Jude was standing in her kitchen, smiling down at her. The dancing tenderness in his eyes assured her that he found her irresistible.
Hefoundherirresistible. He saw her. Appreciated her. Desired her. He was a golden boy. One of the most intelligent people she'd ever met. He could date socialites or beauty queens and yet—marvelously, unbelievably—shewas the one he wanted.
He pulled her against him with a palm at the small of her back. She gasped, a thrill arrowing to her belly.
He swung them and leaned her against her refrigerator door, his actions strong and sure. Her breath left her as his free hand tunneled slowly into her hair. Slowly. Slowly.
Hungry anticipation crackled between them. Then he was taking her lips in a kiss. He tasted like chocolate. He felt like expensive clothing and clean hair. He smelled like smoky cologne andhim. Jude. And she wanted to burrow into that scent and make it her home.
Their chemistry mounted high, quickly high, beyond her control. She gloried in the kiss, curving her arms around his neck to lock him against her. She never wanted this to end—
Instantaneously, itdidend.
She came awake on an uneven inhale. Her eyes opened to reveal her living room. She was curled on the sofa under a throw blanket, a decorative pillow beneath her head. It was a stormy Sunday afternoon. She'd been rereading Gracie and Paul's letters when she'd gotten sleepy.
She closed her eyes and relaxed her body and willed the dream to sweep her away again. She could pinpoint the details of it with clarity. How Jude had looked. How he’d made her feel.
Minutes passed. She concentrated harder than a fan trying to shoot a million-dollar shot during halftime at a basketball game.
C'mon, she begged.Let me return to the dream—
Her phone alarm chimed, announcing that it was time to get ready for Ronan's photography award ceremony followed by dinner with Jude, Cedric, and Vincent at Pasta Bella.
She growled as she pressed herself upright. Disoriented and groggy, she scowled. Had breaking up with Chaz given her subconscious the go-ahead to dream about Jude? Also, how come nightmares always went on too long but truly excellent dreams ended too soon?
* * *
She was still cranky after the awards ceremony.
Upon leaving the auditorium, Gemma hurried across the campus of her brother's community college toward the parking lot where Jude had told her he'd be waiting.
It was full dark now, but numerous lights brightened the pathways and numerous students were out and about. The earlier rain had passed, leaving glistening puddles. Now that March was almost over, the air was finally smelling of spring.
By the time she spotted Jude, leaning against the Mercedes, he was already watching her. A warm zing went through her, which she angrily cut off half-formed. It was disconcerting to see Actual Jude while Dream Jude was so fresh in her mind. He was dressed much as he had been Friday and looked wonderful, which was frustrating, because Actual Jude was not available to kiss against her refrigerator.
This whole situation was messing with her head.
