“A determination about what?”
“About whether I’ll be able to continue with the FBI, and if so, under what circumstances.”
Her hands fisted at her sides.“What!”
“It’s all right, Gemma. Their response is not unexpected and I’m at peace with my actions. I wouldn’t do anything differently.”
“Excuse me?”How dare the FBI do this to him?
You knew all along,her conscience pointed out,that a relationship with Jude was against their rules. It’s true. It’s just . . . the news that she’d actually gotten him suspended was awful. Guilt rose in her, a painful tide.
He took hold of her elbows. “I wouldn’t do anything differently,” he repeated. “It’s always been important to me that I do the right thing. There’s no doubt in my mind that I did the right thing. So I’m good.”
“I’mnot good with this. You’re terrific at what you do. If you're on the job, then I still have hope that you'll be able to stop Cedric. But mostly, Jude, I can’t have you lose your position because you’re with me.”
“Whatever happens with my job, I'll deal with it. Losing you—that's the thing I couldn't stand.” He rubbed her upper arms, giving her a persuasive smile. “Remember that I’m a Camden. I’m not going to starve.”
She socked him in the shoulder.
“Ow,” he said amiably.
“Don’t joke about this!” She retreated two steps.
“I have a law degree and an excellent résumé. I could always go back to work for the DA’s office.”
“You didn’t like working for the DA’s office. You love being an FBI agent.”
He lifted one shoulder in a way that indicated his love for his job was no big thing.
She didn’t buy that. Her love of her job accounted for a good chunk of her satisfaction in life, and she knew it was the same for him. Gemma drew close, curling her fingers into the fabric of his fleece. “At the clam dig, your mom told me—”
“That's a terrifying way to start a sentence.”
“—that you spent some of your high school years giving things up for her. I do not want you to give up . . .” Her voice ambushed her by trembling. She cleared her throat. “I do not want you to give up anything for me.”
He pulled her in and hugged her. Strong arms, warmth, and reassurance circled her. His cheek rested against the top of her head. “I'll sacrifice anything I have to for you.”
“No.”
“Yes. This is my job we're talking about. My choice.”
“Tell them we'll break up.”
He leaned back to look at her. “Never.”
“Yes!”
“Never.”
“You can't stop me from breaking up with you.” She could hear Mabel rustling through foliage in the quiet that followed.
“Gemma.” His tone had lost its levity. “Please don't talk about breaking up with me. My heart can't take it.”
She rolled her lips inward. She did not want to break up with him, of course. She'd rather do anything than that. But thissucked. “I've known, academically, that this was a possibility. But now that it’s happened, it seems ridiculous that they've punished you for this reason. It makes me feel rotten.”
“This might be temporary. They might not fire me, so there's no reason for us to get riled up about something that hasn't even happened yet.”
“If the FBI fires you, they're the stupidest organization in the history of the world.”
