They weren’t trying to protect themselves. They weren’t afraid of transparency and vulnerability. They were honest and they were brave.
Was she really willing to let her own fear separate her from Jeremiah now, go numerous decades without him and then, maybe, enjoy a reunion with him when she was eighty?
No. She was not willing to go that route. Not even for the sake of excellent things like safety and independence.
Her life had changed irrevocably the day of Gavin’s assault. Yet she’d believed she’d recovered as much as any survivor could. This crossroads revealed that she still had some recovering to do if she was denying herself Jeremiah when Jeremiah was what she truly wanted.
And hewas. What she truly wanted.
He'd been right when he'd said she'd been hiding. To some degree, she had been.
So the next step forward was to quit hiding and risk all, which was the hardest step of all. Love was so thorny! So messy. It would confront her with all her demons regarding physical intimacy over and over again. It would test her boundaries and buffet her with feelings so big they’d overwhelm her sometimes.
Jeremiah came with particular challenges. Media scrutiny. Strangers who would recognize him in public places. The need for her to live at least some of the time in populated places. A heavy past so different from hers. A family and a legacy so different from hers.
She could not expect only happy days. No one could expect only happy days. There would be disappointments, things to work through, hurts to forgive and ask forgiveness for. Their relationship might end six months or six years from now and leave her devastated. Or it might last until death did them part. She wouldn't know until she tried.
There wasnoguarantee of success.
But if it came with a guarantee of success, it wouldn’t be love.
Love had to be given without the assurance of reciprocity or a lifetime of security under its umbrella.
She hated to be wrong.
But the night of their fight, she’d chosen wrongly.
She’d chosen to defend herself by preserving her sheltered life. When she should have chosen him.
Jeremiah arrived at the country club that night thirty minutes before Remy and Wendell were scheduled to do so because he didn’t trust Wendell not to arrive for dinner bizarrely early. He did a circuit of the restaurant first to confirm they hadn’t beaten him here.
They hadn’t.
He leaned against the luxurious bar directly across the hall from the restaurant hostess stand. From here, there was no way he’d miss them when they came in. He watched the time tick toward six-thirty.
He’d gotten a haircut today. He’d showered before leaving his house with the soap he knew she liked. He’d ironed his clothes.
Already, his shoulder muscles were tight with nerves because he knew he couldn’t screw up again. He’d run all the scenarios, trying to figure out how to act with her tonight. He’d never in his life spent this much time thinking and planning his moves with a woman. He’d always been quick on his feet, and talking with women came easily to him. But the last time he’d seen her he’d said the wrong thing to the woman that meant everything to him.
No room for error tonight.
He was definitely going to lead with an apology. Beyond that, he planned to take his cues from her body language and words. If he saw an opening, he’d tell her he loved her—
Wendell came into view with a white-haired woman on his arm.
Jeremiah’s senses went on high alert. He straightened. However, Remy did not follow after Wendell as he’d expected.
Maybe she was . . . parking the car?
Wendell raised a hand in greeting. Jeremiah nodded.
Wendell whispered something to the lady. She answered, then they separated—her toward the hostess stand, Wendell toward Jeremiah.
The older man had been transformed. He looked relaxed and euphoric. Younger. Wendell clasped one of Jeremiah’s shoulders. “I’m sorry to say that I couldn’t convince Remy to come.”
Despair settled over Jeremiah like black smoke from a fire.
“I tried,” Wendell continued. “Remy drove me to meet Marisol. Then she drove both of us to Rockland. Marisol’s going to stay at the inn in town through Thanksgiving weekend. Anyway, point is, we both tried to persuade Remy to join us tonight, but she wouldn’t come.”
