“It turned out that it reallywasimportant for me to stop playing,” Bridget continued, “but only for a season. All along, God intended for me to play in church. There’s none of the stress or pressure or performance anxiety. I love the clarinet more now than ever before.”
“I’m wondering if I’m experiencing a similar change in plan,” Finley said. What if God was ready for her to open the door torelationships, but she wasn’t willing to risk it because she was hiding behind an expired plan for her life?
Or what if she was telling herself God was ready for her to open the door to relationships only in order to validate her own newfound desires? “Gah.” Finley rubbed the back of her neck. “Luke thinks I haven’t been dating anyone because I’m scared.”
“And?” Meadow asked. “Are you scared?”
“I didn’t think so at first. But maybe? I mean, I barely made it through the loss of my last relationship. It’s been five years, and now I’ve met someone I want to date, but he’s made it clear he’s not emotionally available.”
“Do not fall for emotionally unavailable men,” Meadow said in a serious tone.
“I know. So if I put myself back on the market, it would be to date other people. And that’s scary.”
“I find the dating world incredibly scary,” Bridget admitted.
“Dating is not for me,” Meadow announced grandly, as if this was news to any of them. “That said, fear should never be what holds any of the three of us back from something. If that’s the only thing left that’s stopping you from dating, Finley, you need to kick it out of your way.”
Luke had kissed her with raw need. The hands that had supported the back of her head had been fervent and reverent. For the first time, he’d been unguarded with her.
Afterward, she’d thought he might be open to dating her. But no. In floating the proposition of dating, she’d somehow hurt him. Which she would make right.
As far as she knew, Luke hadn’t had a close relationship with any woman since his brother died. But honestly, how much did she really know about his years in Atlanta? Almost nothing. Her information about his Misty River high school years was suspect, too, because it was founded on gossip. Maybe he’d had some deep relationships. Maybe, like her, he’d loved and lost.
Before the earthquake, everyone said he’d been friendly, open,self-assured. A straightforward boy so courageous that he’d pulled other kids to safety when the ground of El Salvador started to shake.
Following that event, he’d become something much more complex—a man full of both virtues and vices. Aloof and intense. Disdainful of affection and clearly in need of affection.
She and Luke had experienced tragedy.
Tragedy left scars.
She was the last person on earth who’d criticize the way someone else’s scars had formed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Late that night, when Finley couldn’t sleep, she clicked on her bedside light and pulled her laptop onto the covers.
She ran a few searches until she located a picture of Luke’s brother, Ethan, in an old news article. He had dark blond hair, freckles, a contagious smile. He’d been a cute kid. A normal, happy child. Unbearably, unfairly young.
When Ethan had gone on that mission trip, the vast majority of his yearsshouldhave been ahead of him. High school, college, love, travel, career, old age—all of it. So many of the things life offered, he hadn’t tasted.
Tears collected in her eyes as she studied Ethan’s face. Tears for him. Tears for Luke.
Luke had only been fourteen when Ethan died. Several times since he’d come to work at Furry Tails, she’d tried to imagine the heart of a fourteen-year-old who believed himself responsible for his brother’s death. How had he gone on after that? How had he found a way to carry the weight?
Luke had made mistakes, but the fact that he’d survived at all was the unsung miracle of the Miracle Five.
Her friendship with him would continue. She’d pray, asking God to show her the role He had for her to play in Luke’s life and asking whether the time had come to put herself back on the dating market.
If it made her sad to think that she’d never again kiss Luke—which it did—then she needed to get over herself.
For one thing, she’d had her one great love. Which was more than many people received.
For another thing, Luke was leaving soon. Even though she’d slightly elongated the amount of time between Agatha’s arrival at Furry Tails and the puppy’s adoption, she wasn’t deceitful enough to knowingly lengthen the treasure hunt. Not even to give the Restoration of Luke its best shot at success.
It wouldn’t be fair to keep him here when she knew how much he wanted to go.
On Sunday afternoon, Luke received a text from Dylan, the teenager who’d agreed to keep him informed on Blair.
