She carried a tray of vegetables toward the backyard.
He replaced the frame and opened the sliding door for her that led to the deck. “How did he die?”
She set the tray on the edge of her barbecue grill. “How would you feel if I told you that I don’t want to talk about any part of my history?”
She was quoting him. “Irritated.”
“Huh,” she said meaningfully.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll respect that.”
“Actually, I’m more than happy to talk about my life. All of it. Any of it. I’m an open book.” She lifted the barbecue’s lid, displaying flames. Quickly, she set rows of vegetables on it. Peppers, onion, giant mushrooms, asparagus.
“How did he die?” he repeated.
Her body slanted toward his. She crossed one foot over the other, her toe pointing down. “He was driving home one night and lost control.”
“How?”
“We don’t know for sure, which has been one of the hardest things. We think he might have swerved for some reason. He drove off the side of the road. His Jeep hit bushes, went airborne,overturned, struck a tree. He was thrown from the vehicle. When the ambulance arrived, he was unconscious but alive. They rushed him to the hospital. He died of his injuries shortly after, without ever regaining consciousness.”
Luke didn’t say any of the empty things people had said to him about death.
“Five months before he passed away, he proposed. I said yes. We were so happy as we planned our wedding. It was ... devastating to lose him.”
“You mentioned that you’d been through something that resulted in years of therapy. This was what you were referring to?”
“Yes. For the entire first year afterward, I felt as if I’d died, too. For two more years after that, I was mired in grief. All my hopes and dreams for the future had died along with Chase. I didn’t know how to move forward.”
“What helped?”
“My psychologist played a key role. Also, I continued working because the animals needed me. I spent a lot of time with God. Instead of focusing on what I lost, I tried to cultivate gratitude for what I had.” She pulled the flaps of the robe across her chest. “Most people never get to experience what Chase and I shared. It was a once-in-a-lifetime love.” She sighed. “Since his death, I’ve heard God calling me to embrace singleness. And I have. My life is good. Full.”
“Let me get this straight.” He scowled. “You haven’t had a boyfriend since Chase?”
“No.”
“Have you gone on any dates since Chase?”
“No.”
“You’ve become a nun for the Church of Chase.”
“I’ve embraced singleness.”
“Because you’re a nun for the Church of Chase.”
“Because singleness is what God has for me.”
No. That’s not why she was avoiding relationships.
“How come,” she inquired pleasantly, “you’re looking at me like that’s the silliest thing you’ve ever heard?”
“Because it is. There’s no such thing as a once-in-a-lifetime love.”
“Of course there is—”
“And it’s a cop-out to blame God for the fact that you haven’t dated anyone.”
