“Nothing’s going to happen there—”
“Sebastian,” Ben said calmly. “Please just tell me honestly how you feel about her.”
Sebastian pursed his mouth. If their friendship was going to continue to be as strong as it had been, it wouldn’t be because of lies. “I feel the same way I felt about her the day I met her. My feelings haven’t changed.”
They walked without words.
“I could tell that by the way you were looking at her tonight,” Ben said. “And I could tell, by the way she was looking at you, that she’s attracted to you.”
“Ben—”
“I regret what I said when I called you at work the day after she and I went out to dinner. I was disappointed. And jealous. And selfish.”
“And honest. I understood why you said what you said. You’ve shared everything in your life with me.”
“Here’s the thing, though. That doesn’t give me the right to decide whom you’re allowed to date. I was kidding myself to think that it did.” He looked across at Sebastian briefly. “You and I both like Leah, but she only likes one of us back as more than a friend. And it’s you.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“If so, she’s made a mistake. You’re the right person for her.”
“I’ll be the right person for someone someday, God willing. But I’m beginning to think that you’re the right person for Leah Montgomery.”
Because such powerful hope was rising in him, Sebastianhadto make sure he reacted not in the way he wanted but in the way that was right. “Let’s say she is interested in me. And let’s say we get together. It would be painful for you to have to see us together, to have to hear about our relationship. I can’t be with her if I know it’s going to make you unhappy.”
They’d reached the fender of Ben’s Jeep. They faced each other.
Ben knew him better than anyone, and Sebastian couldn’t help but feel as though his skin was being pulled back so that Ben could see inside.
“Remember that time,” Ben said, “when we were in middle school and those two kids hissed racial slurs at me when they passed us on the field? You ran after them and started punching them in the face. All three of you got suspended.”
“Yeah.”
“I could name at least five other times when you’ve stuck up for me. I think you felt like you had to defend me because I was Black and because I’ve never been the kind of person who strikes back when someone insults me. But you might not know thatI’vealso always felt the need to defendyou. Because of your history, I can’t help but want the best for you.”
Sebastian bristled, his brow knitting.
“Don’t give me that look. I don’t pity you, Sebastian. I just want what’s best for you.”
Except that Sebastian suspected that Bendidpity him, regardless of the things he’d accomplished.
“Go ahead and ask Leah out,” Ben said. “I won’t stand in the way.”
Sebastian stared at him with disbelief. “Like I said, even if she does want to be with me, I can’t be with her if it’s going to make you unhap—”
“Good grief. Can you stop being so bullheaded for one minute?”
Sebastian supposed the question was rhetorical.
Exasperated, Ben shook his head. “I really do deserve a medal for putting up with you all this time.”
This statement, too, seemed rhetorical.
“You might not have noticed, but I’m no longer someone you have to defend,” Ben said. “I’m a grown man, and I can deal with pain.”
“But—”
