Which he’d never do!
So then, why? Why couldn’t she bring herself to tell him?
Was she really this full of stupid pride?
No. Shewouldtell him. It’s just that she hadn’t even begun to digest the truth about Russell’s death herself. Her thoughts were shooting in a million different directions.
Closing her eyes, she pushed the heels of her hands against her forehead.
God.
God, please help me. Please lift this feeling of impending catastrophe off of me. Make yourselfknown and real to me again like you once were.
Come in power, I beg you. Calm my mind. Helpme to trust you wholly, so that I can face what’s coming for my family and for me. Ifit’s your will for disapproval to rain down on us, then you’ll make a way for us tobear up under it. And, ultimately, you’ll redeem thesuffering you allow.
That’s what I believe. That’s what is true.
She poured out all of her praises and worries and pleas. Then she strained to hear His response.
Long minutes passed.
She waited and waited, ears and senses pining for Him.
“Where are you?” Her question sounded small and raspy in the empty space.
She couldn’t stand to feel this way—so anxious that she wanted to claw out of her skin.
She pounded both fists into the hardwood floor. “Where are you?” she yelled.
She discerned no answer.
Her heart drummed with deep-seated panic.
God had abandoned her.
He missed Gen far more than he should.
Sam crossed the distance from his truck to the front door of the guesthouse and knocked. After receiving her texts yesterday at the apple orchard, he’d hardly slept. He’d been distracted during his work on the farm today and during his basketball game with Eli and the others. After showering at the gym, he’d headed straight here.
Now that daylight savings time was done, darkness fell early in the mountains. Sunset was perhaps only half an hour away, but the storm bruising the sky would get here even sooner.
The door swung open, and Gen filled the opening. Wind lifted her hair, whipping strands of it away from her pale pink cheeks. He simply stood on the threshold, overwhelmed with tenderness, adjusting to the power of her nearness.
She slid her hands around his neck. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
She looked like she’d been fighting her demons with everything she had and losing.
He hated that he couldn’t shield her from what she was going through. He was a fixer. Give him a goal—run a farm, open a restaurant—and he’d take every action needed to achieve that goal. But this? “Gen—”
She drew his profile to hers. Their lips met, and his longing for her answered instantly. Their kiss held an edge of desperation.
“It’s good to see you,” she whispered when they broke apart.
“You too.”
They hadn’t even made it through the front door.
