“We couldn’t arrange it in the summer.”You left me. I was a mess.“You still haven’t told me why you’re calling.”
And suddenly she wondered. Was this about Trudy? Was he calling to say he was getting married? Her stomach lurched.
“I want you back, Claudia.”
The room spun. She must have misheard, surely? “Sorry?”
“I want us to be together. And I know this is probably a shock.”
A shock?
She wanted to say something cutting but her mind was blank.
“Claudia? I know you’re mad with me. I don’t blame you.I don’t know what happened to me, but I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.”
The whole conversation was unbelievable.
“Where does Trudy fit into this little arrangement?”
“Trudy was a mistake. But maybe I needed to be with Trudy to realize you were the one for me.”
Was she supposed to send Trudy a thank-you note?
“Claudia? You’ve gone quiet. I’m saying that I want us to be together again. Forever.”
Forever.
She was being offered her old life back. She could move back into their apartment, get another job and settle down to California living. With John. Her John.
She stared out the window. Except he wasn’t her John, was he? The past few days with her friends had made her realize that their relationship had been far from perfect. She’d mistaken the length of a relationship with quality, but now she could see all the ways in which it had fallen short.
She thought about him slamming the front door on the day that he’d left, ignoring her entreaties that he at least talk to her. Despite their years together, he hadn’t even shown her that basic courtesy. Respect, affection, consideration—where had they been on that day?
Where were they now? Surely he didn’t really think that all he had to do was make a call and she’d come running back?
“I’m sure you’re overwhelmed,” John said. “Take a moment. I love you, Claudia. We’re good together.”
“You love me?” She tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. “When did you decide that?”
“I’ve always loved you.”
Anger mingled with incredulity. “You cheated on me. You betrayed everything about our relationship.”And she knew now with absolute certainty that she didn’t want him back. She didn’t want to reconstruct her old life. She was excited about her new life. The one she’d tentatively started living. And John wasn’t part of that. She’d had no choice in any of the things that had happened to her this year, but now she had a choice.
She pressed her fist to her mouth, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. She felt ridiculously powerful for the first time in her life.
“Claudia?”
“Ellen and Tilda in the apartment above us have a spare key. I’ll message them and tell them to give it to you. Do what you want with the apartment, John. Keep it. Don’t keep it. Whatever. I don’t care. I won’t be coming back there. I’ll send someone to pack up my things.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“I do mean that.”
He made an impatient sound. “Is this some kind of petty revenge because I did the same thing?”
“No. This will no doubt deliver a bruise to your ego but I’m not even thinking about you right now. I’m thinking about me.” She stood up, smiling. “I don’t want to fly all the way to California simply to leave again once I’ve packed up my things. I can outsource that, but thank you for giving me the idea. You taught me how to take all the emotion out of a breakup.”
“I made a mistake, Claudia, I admit it.” He sounded desperate now. “And I wish I could explain why I did it, but—I don’t know,” he breathed. “Maybe it was hitting forty. Shook me up a little, you know?”
