“I don’t want to talk about Becky and Will. I want to talk about us.” He spoke in a low voice that wouldn’t carry beyond their bedroom, but his tone was no less forceful for that. “What made you think Becky was in love with me?”
“It didn’t cross my mind until she walked through the door today. I just had an instinct.” But it turned out that this time at least, her instincts had been wrong. Which was a huge relief. She’d been feeling dreadful that she’d unwittingly ruined her sister’s life by marrying Declan, but obviously not.
Later, she’d think about how hurt she was that Becky hadn’t told her what was happening with Will, but right now her mind wouldn’t let her think about anything except Declan.
“But why?” He stepped closer to her, bemused. “Why would that thought even cross your mind?”
She wished he would stop talking, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen so she resigned herself to having the conversation they probably should have had a few days ago.
“I suppose because it was something I’d been thinking about,” she mumbled. “The two of you are very well suited.”
“Well suited?” Declan was looking at her as if she was speaking a language he didn’t understand. “Becky? Seriously?”
“Why not?” She felt compelled to defend herself. Maybe she’d been wrong, but there had been a strong foundation for her fears. “The two of you get on really well. You’ve known each other a long time.”
“As colleagues. Friends.”
She shrugged. “Friends is a good starting point for a relationship.” And she realised that even though she’d been wrong about Becky’s feelings, she wasn’t necessarily wrong about Declan’s. Maybe he had feelings for Becky but they weren’t returned. “I just—lately I’ve started thinking that maybe you’d be happier with her than you are with me.”
“What?Wait—you think I’m in love with your sister?” His voice was hoarse. “Why would you think that?”
Wasn’t it obvious?
“Because she’s everything I’m not.”
He was still staring at her, struggling to absorb what she was saying. “I can’t believe this is what you’ve been thinking. Andyou didn’t say anything.” He ran his hand over the back of his neck. “How long?”
“How long, what?”
“How long have you been thinking it?”
“That perhaps you would have preferred to be with Becky? I don’t know. Since your Christmas event I suppose. Or maybe after that evening you took me to meet your friends. It occurred to me that Becky would have fitted in perfectly. She would have understood the conversation. She would have joined in.” She twisted her wedding ring. “You and Becky know each other well. I realised the other day that most of what you know about me, and my family, you know from Becky. You stand there and say ‘do you remember when,’ and that isn’t something you ever say to me. The two of you have this whole history.”
He stood still, stunned into silence. Then he shook his head.
“Because we worked together for five years. You learn a lot about a person when you work side by side with them for that length of time.”
“I know.” She knew it was logical, but it didn’t change the way she felt. “I suppose I’m thinking that Becky is more your type, that’s all.”
“Becky and I have never so much as flirted together.”
“Becky doesn’t really know how to flirt so that doesn’t mean anything.”
“Enough.” His tone was raw and he walked across and tugged her to her feet. “I do not have feelings for your sister. Not those sorts of feelings. I have never had those feelings for your sister. I’m shocked that you would even think it. What have I done to make you think it?”
His eyes were stormy, and he’d dragged his hands through his hair leaving it rumpled and unruly.
She wasn’t used to seeing him show this much emotion and she was mesmerized by it. He was always calm and level-headed, his emotions steady and restrained, so much so that thoseoccasions when he seemed to struggle with emotional control stood out in her mind. The night she’d proposed. Their wedding.
And now. The fact that he was definitely struggling for control was an indication of how much he cared. Something stirred inside her. Finally she didn’t need to ask herself what he was thinking and feeling, because she could see it on his face, and she knew that if he just kissed her right now everything would be fine. It was what they needed. What they both needed to bridge that distance that had formed between them.
They could be late to the party. There was so much drama erupting in the family she doubted anyone would even notice.
“Rosie?”
She realised she’d lost the thread of the conversation. He’d asked her a question. “Sorry?”
She could see the shadow on his jaw and the thickness of his eyelashes. Underneath his half-buttoned shirt she caught a glimpse of his body, lean and strong. He applied the same disciplined approach to exercise that he demonstrated in every other aspect of his life.
