She thought about her mother, Rosie and Hayley working side by side in the kitchen, Jamie and Declan hanging lights in the garden. The only person not contributing was her father, who was given a free pass because of his age and health.
Everyone was busy except Martin, who was hiding.
Jamie and Rosie had noticed his absence. Her mother hadgiven her a look. Her father knew things weren’t right. This wasn’t the atmosphere she wanted over Christmas.
She wanted everything to be normal. She wanted to enjoy a family Christmas. She wanted to make the most of it because who knew when they’d all be together again? It was supposed to be a special time. It wasn’t supposed to be riddled with anxiety.
“People are wondering where you are. I couldn’t find you. You scared me!” She sat down hard on the edge of the bed, giving herself a moment to digest the fact that he was fine. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Well, not everywhere, because here I am.”
She straightened the throw on the end of Becky’s bed. “Obviously I wouldn’t have thought to look in Becky’s room.”
“Which is why I chose it.” He removed his earbuds. “What’s the matter?”
Thinking about everyone downstairs working and his kids wanting to spend time with him, she was about to erupt with frustration when she glanced at his phone and saw the title of the podcast he’d been listening to.
How to Survive Life After Retirement.
Her frustration vanished and she felt a little flicker of optimism. He was trying. That had to be good.
“Is it an interesting podcast?”
“No, it’s useless. Apparently I should now be relishing having more time to spend on the garden. I should be deadheading roses and mowing the lawn.”
She was relieved to see a glimmer of the old Martin. “You hate gardening.”
“Exactly.”
“Anyway, it’s winter and the garden is under a foot of snow, so I don’t think this is the time to explore that interest.”
“It’s not an interest. Never has been.” He swung his legs off the bed. “What do you need me to do?”
“I need you to be your old self.”
“My old self was a busy doctor, so I can’t exactly be that, can I?”
“That was your job, Martin, not who you were.” But plenty of people were defined by their jobs, she knew that. She’d done some research on it during the night when she’d been unable to sleep.How people react to retirement.“Or at least, pretend to be your old self. Just so people don’t ask questions.”
He fiddled with his phone. “I never really had to plan my day, did you know that? From the moment I walked through the door, I knew what was expected of me, and any variation on that came from responding to other people’s requests.”
“If you’re saying that you need help structuring your day then I can help with that. Jamie is waiting to talk to you about his job, although I don’t know the details. After you’ve talked to Jamie, you could give Rosie a hug because she has been talking about you all morning and seems in need of something, although I’m not sure what. And then you can talk to Dad, who really would appreciate a conversation.” She paused, watching his expression. “It’s Christmas, Martin. I don’t want the kids to know anything is wrong. They’ll worry. They work hard and they get so little time off. They deserve to relax.”
She hated herself for using guilt as a weapon but right now she’d do whatever it took to enlist his help.
He sighed and stood up. “All right, let’s do this. The doctor is in the house.”
“No, Martin, not the doctor. The father. The son-in-law.” She hesitated. “And the husband.”
She said it softly and he looked at her for a long moment.
“Yes.” He gave her a thoughtful look. “Yes.”
She thought he was about to say something else but instead he headed downstairs to join everyone.
It was a start.
Chapter15
