And she knew she was good at what she did. There was skill involved in creating costumes for the dancers, but most people never thought about that. They watched the performance onstage and had no concept of the work that had gone into making sure everything was perfect. With costumes there were so many elements to consider. The dancer had to be able to movefluidly, to feel good in the costume and forget about it completely when they were dancing.
Recently she’d been working onThe Nutcracker, one of her favourite ballets and a staple of the festive season. It always made her feel Christmassy. It used over a hundred costumes and this time she’d made a new tutu for the Sugar Plum Fairy, spending hours sewing together multiple layers of tulle and embedding crystals that would sparkle and gleam under the lights. That costume had inspired the dress she’d made for herself to wear on Christmas Day.
She’d been excited about wearing it, but now she wondered if Declan would just think it was over the top. She was conscious that she dressed very differently from all the people he mixed with during his working day.
She hated the idea that he wasn’t looking forward to Christmas. But maybe that was because his own Christmases hadn’t been that special. Perhaps he didn’t know what to expect.
“I think you’ll like spending Christmas at the Mill House. It’s always festive and my mother is an incredible cook. Her turkey will be the best thing you’ve ever eaten, I guarantee it.” Was she being too cheery? Trying too hard? “All the other Christmas lunches you’ve ever had will fade in comparison.”
“I’ve never had a particularly memorable Christmas lunch so that won’t be hard. Not that I’m suggesting your mother’s cooking is anything other than sublime,” he said. “It’s just not a meal that has ever made much of an impression on me.”
She didn’t know what she was supposed to say to that. “Oh.”
“You’re so transparent.” But there was warmth in his voice. “You’re worried because this is your favourite time of year and you’re afraid I’m going to ruin it. You can relax. I know you love it, and I promise not to spoil it for you.”
It wasn’t only about her. She wanted him to enjoy it too, but maybe that was asking too much.
She stopped at a junction. “We’re only twenty minutes fromhome now. Could you message my mother and give her a twenty-minute warning?”
“You want me to message your mother?”
“Yes. Why not? You’re her son-in-law.”
“I know, but—fine.” He picked up her phone and sent a message. “I made it clear it was from you.”
It hadn’t occurred to her that he might feel uncomfortable with her family. Her friends had always loved sleepovers with Rosie and Becky because their parents were so warm and welcoming. There was always cake and milkshakes and no one ever cared if they built forts in the living room or covered the kitchen table with their artwork.
“Did you never have a family Christmas? Not once?”
He put her phone back in her bag. “Define ‘family Christmas.’”
“The whole family together. Doing traditional stuff.”
“No. From the age of seven it was just Dad and me, and he wasn’t cooking a turkey.” He gave a short laugh. “He couldn’t even boil an egg, so we ate whatever tins he had in the cupboard.”
“Oh.” And now she felt extra grateful for all the wonderful Christmases she’d had in her life. “Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay to ask.” He paused. “I suppose there’s a lot we still don’t know about each other.”
That was becoming clear to her. And she had questions. Questions she was afraid to ask in case she didn’t like the answers.
Did we rush this?
Do you wish you’d never married me?
She kept her focus on the road. Of course he didn’t wish that (did he?). Becky always said that she overthought things and she was definitely overthinking this. It was true that they were still discovering things about each other, but that was fine. She needed to adjust to that reality, that was all. When they’dmet their connection had been so powerful she’d felt as if he’d always been in her life. As if she knew him instinctively, and as if he knew her. But that was her romantic side taking over. She saw now that there were a million tiny details that they hadn’t shared.
“If you find our family Christmas too much you are allowed to escape to your room at any point. Or to the pub down the road. Jamie will go with you. And no one will mind.” Everyone would probably ask where he was and if he was all right, and her grandmother would probably ask him directly because she wasn’t known for her tact, but he didn’t need to know that in advance.
“Stop worrying. I know you’re close to your family, Rosie. You don’t have to apologise for it.”
“I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed, that’s all.”
“I won’t. There are plenty of things I’m looking forward to.”
“You are?”
“Yes. Work has been hard so I’m ready for a rest. And I’m looking forward to walks on the beach and seeing more of the area. We didn’t have much time for that last time we were here. I want to do a tour of ruined castles.”
