Bored with queuing, the woman he’d addressed thequestion to hauled her case forward so that she could join in the conversation. “We had. Her boyfriend refused to propose, said they were fine as they were and didn’t want to get married, but then a new receptionist started at his work and a month later he left Martha and was getting married. Turns out it wasn’t that he didn’t want to get married, but he didn’t want to marry Martha. He said it wasn’t personal, but how much more personal can you get?” She exchanged looks with her husband.
“Heartbreaking,” he said. “We thought Martha would be single forever after that, but three years later she was walking the dog and that was it.”
“That was what?” Becky was struggling to keep up. People were so complicated. They made her head hurt, which was why generally she preferred to work with computers.
“She met Roland. A month later they were married.”
“Oh.” Maybe that was reassuring. “A month is fast. And they’re happy together?”
“No. They’re divorced too.”
So not reassuring at all.
She was beginning to wish she hadn’t started this conversation because it was doing nothing to soothe her anxiety about her brother. “So you’re saying it’s best to take your time over falling in love.”
“Maybe, but you don’t always have a choice.” Ginny leaned closer. “Sometimes you can be going along living your life, minding your own business and then wham.”
“Wham? As in you walk into something and fall over?”
“No, wham as in you fall in love. Love at first sight. And you can’t help it.”
Becky was about to say that she didn’t believe in love at first sight, but then she thought about her twin sister, now married to Declan, Becky’s longtime work colleague (now ex-colleague). Becky had introduced them and that had definitely been a “wham” moment. One minute Becky had been talking to bothof them and the next they’d been talking to each other, mesmerized, her existence forgotten. She’d cleared her throat a few times, then banged her glass on the table. Nothing. They’d been so absorbed in each other she’d had a feeling that they wouldn’t have noticed her even if she’d danced on the table. She’d always considered Declan to be a sensible human being, but after that encounter all he’d talked about was her sister. Rosie this. Rosie that.Tell me more about Rosie.
They were married eight months later.
Was that what had happened to Jamie? What waswrongwith her family?
“I’m happy for my brother, obviously, but also worried. Although I suppose if I’m honest I didn’t totally love his first girlfriend. She was a bit judgy.”
Perhaps if you tried to make yourself look a little more feminine, Becky. I get that you work in a mostly male environment and you want to fit in, but maybe you could wear a dress sometimes, or a touch of lipstick. A shoe that doesn’t look as if it has passed the health and safety rules of a construction site.
“Try not to worry.” Ginny patted her arm. “I’m sure he knows his own mind.”
Becky didn’t share her confidence. She felt very protective towards her older brother.
She’d been in love once in her life and it hadn’t been a quick process. It had crept over her stealthily, like an emotional weight gain, layer upon layer going unnoticed until one day you woke up and took a long hard look at yourself and realised something about you was different. It had come as a shock to her, and not a good one.
But she’d disciplined herself not to think about that.
Her phone rang and a name flashed up.
Rosie.
After a moment’s hesitation she rejected the call and a moment later a message popped up on her screen.
Declan and I are on our way! Can’t wait to see you.
Becky’s fingers hovered over the keyboard but in the end she just sent a couple of emojis.
Rosie was married now. She didn’t need to get into lengthy exchanges with her twin sister. And at this precise moment Becky didn’t feel robust enough to handle Rosie cooing over how fantastic Declan was—how he’d fixed her laptop again (Becky had often fixed her sister’s laptop and had never be on the receiving end of even a fraction of the love and appreciation that Declan was shown for performing the same task) or how perfect Declan was (he certainly hadn’t been perfect when Becky had worked with him, and not just because he always left the milk out of the fridge). And honestly Becky was happy for her. She adored her sister, and she believed that if there was ever a moment when life wasn’t dumping crap in your lap, then you should make the most of it.
But being relegated to the second-most-important person in her sister’s life wasn’t easy, and training herself not to contact her sister at all hours of the day required a discipline that was exhausting.
Emojis were okay, weren’t they? Emojis didn’t intrude on her twin’s personal space.
She could hardly register the fact that Rosie was married, even though she’d been at the wedding. This was going to be the first time the whole family had been together since that day in February. Their first family Christmas with an extra member of the family (two extra members if you counted Jamie’s girlfriend). Rosie’s first Christmas married to Declan. The first Christmas that Becky and Rosie wouldn’t be up at dawn poking presents together. Rosie would be in bed with Declan. Sleeping. Or not. Maybe she’d be doing more exciting things than sleeping. Jamie would be in bed with his girlfriend, probably not sleeping.
And she’d be in bed on her own. Or maybe with the dog if she could sneak him into her room without her mother seeing.
