She stared at him. “You—”
“I love you, Becks. After last night you have to know that, surely? I love you, and I’ve loved you for a long time.”
The cold air crept under her coat but she didn’t notice. She wasn’t aware of anything except him, and she felt joy slowly seep into her, the sheer volume of it pushing aside doubt and anxiety and all the other complicated emotions that had swirled inside her since she’d realised how she felt about Will. It had always been Will. He was her person.
And she was his person.
He loved her. Not only that, but he’d loved her for a long time.
How was that possible? It felt too perfect, and she knew life was rarely perfect.
“You never said anything.” Her mouth was dry. “You’ve never said that word. In all the years we’ve been friends. All the hours we’ve spent together. You’ve never said that word.”
“I’m saying it now.” He took her face in his hands, his gaze holding hers. “I love you, Becks. And I probably should have said it a long time ago, but I wasn’t sure if you felt the same wayand I was afraid of damaging what we had. And maybe also damaging my friendship with Jamie. Our parents’ friendship. I didn’t want things to be awkward.”
“A long time ago?” She stared at him, her mind working. “How long?”
“I’m not sure. But at least the last few years.” He stroked her cheek gently with his fingers. “Why do you think Elsie broke up with me?”
“I have no idea. I assumed she was a woman with poor decision making skills.”
He smiled. “She broke up with me because she knew I was in love with you.”
“How could she possibly have known that?”
“She saw us together. And she knew I was a lost cause.” He lowered his head and kissed her again before lifting his mouth from hers just enough to enable him to speak. “So are you going to tell me how you feel now?”
She flung her arms round his neck, her face wet with tears. “I love you too. Maybe I’ve loved you for a long time. I don’t even know. I’m not—”
“You’re not good at understanding your feelings, I know.”
“I’ve always said that but I’m not having any trouble understanding the way I feel about you now.” She kissed him and he kissed her back and she forgot that she’d been in a hurry to go back to the house, that she’d wanted this conversation to be brief, to get it over with. All she wanted was now. This. Him. And then she remembered and pulled away. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I need to say.” She thought about Rosie and Declan, and how not communicating could lead to assumptions, which could lead to friction and fractures. She didn’t want that. Not ever.
“There’s something I need to say, too, but you can go first.”
She curled her fingers into the front of his coat. “I was never in love with Declan.”
“I know.”
“You know?” She’d been prepared to repeat herself but it seemed she didn’t need to.
“It was obvious to me right from the start that what you were feeling at your sister’s wedding was complicated. Your relationship with Rosie is something most people can’t imagine. For all your lives you’ve been each other’s significant person, so someone else coming along and disrupting that had to be confusing and unsettling. I did suggest that on the day when you were howling into my shirt, but you were convinced you were in love with Declan so I decided that the best approach was to let you figure it out for yourself. Which I hoped you would in time.”
“You’re patient.”
“Not really. But you’re worth waiting for.”
“We’ve wasted so much time.”
“Yes, we have. And I don’t want to waste any more, which is why I’m not carrying this around a moment longer.” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small midnight-blue box, tied with a silver bow. “I could have put it under the Christmas tree, but some gifts are better given in private.”
“Will?” She stared at the box, almost too afraid to take it from him, but he pressed it into her hand and she fumbled with ribbon and wrapping before finally lifting the lid. “Oh.Oh!”
“If a diamond is too fairy-tale for you, just think of it as carbon atoms.”
Carbon atoms.
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and in the end she did both. “It’s not too fairy-tale.” It was better than that, because this was real. He was real.
