“Last night, although I suppose if I’m honest I was having inappropriate thoughts when we shared a room on the way here. And I’ve never had inappropriate thoughts about Will before. It was unsettling.”
“Really?” Rosie was curious. “Never?”
“No. Of course not. Why?”
“Because Will is smoking hot. Surely you noticed that.”
“Well, I mean—he—” Becky swallowed. “No, I’m not sure I did. To me he has always just been Will.”
Rosie’s smile widened. “Will. Our brother’s best friend. It’s such a classic romance trope.”
Becky made an impatient sound. “You do know that’s fiction, right?”
“Doesn’t mean it can’t happen in real life. You are proof that it does. You’re in love with him.”
“Keep your voice down.” Becky glanced nervously towards the house.
“Why so secretive?”
“Because this is all fake, remember? We’re pretending. And when Christmas is over, we break up and that’s it. At least, that’s how it was supposed to be.”
“But you don’t want that anymore.”
“No. But I can’t tell him it’s suddenly real for me.” Becky shrugged. “I have to carry on pretending that I’m pretending. Can you imagine anything more confusing? It’s enough to fry your brain. That’s why I’m standing out here now. I decided I didn’t want to be there when he woke up. It will be easier to keep up this charade if we’re surrounded by people.”
“Or for once in your life you could not hide your feelings and tell him exactly what you just told me.”
“That I love him? That for me it’s all real?” Becky looked appalled. “I can just imagine his reaction. He’d freak out and I’d die of embarrassment. I don’t think so.”
“I’ve never seen Will freak out about anything, and I can’t imagine it happening. He’s always cool and calm.”
Becky wrapped her arms around herself, stamping her feet against the cold.
“I can’t tell him. He’s Jamie’s best friend. He’s my best friend, after you of course but you don’t count. I don’t want to ruin that. I still want to be able to help decorate his house and meet him for a drink after work. I don’t want our relationship to be awkward and if I told him the truth, it would be awkward.”
Rosie had never seen her sister so flustered. “So what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to keep doing what I usually do. Hide my feelings, keep going.”
“Because that approach has worked so well for you in the past.”
Becky ignored that. “And I’m going to get a new job because the one I’m in right now was a mistake. After Christmas I’m going to call some recruiters.”
“If you want to give up your job you could always move in with Declan and me while you find another one. It would save on the rent and we have a spare room.”
“Thanks. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“I’d like it. Not having you around has been painful. Strange. Not at all good.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I missed you so much, and that was unexpected although it probably shouldn’t have been. I think I was as shocked as it seems you were.”
Becky nodded. “Turns out you and I knew everything about how to be together, and nothing about how to separate.”
Rosie slid her arm into her sister’s. “Fortunately, we don’t have to learn that.”
“But I have to get used to not being your number one person. I have to learn how to share you. I’ve never been that great at sharing.”
