“What did you do?”
Darcy ran his hands over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his brows. “I insulted Miss Elizabeth. To her face.”
“Good god, Darce. I know you have long been uncomfortable in public when you are not particularly acquainted with others, but this is rather rude, even for you.”
“Thank you, Cousin.” Darcy sneered. He swallowed the cooling tea, granting him time to compose himself. “I had no idea that Miss Elizabeth heard my insults. In fact, I forgot that I said anything about her at all. Several weeks later, while her elder sister and she were at Netherfield, Miss Elizabeth ignoredme. I assumed she planned to increase my interest by acting completely opposite Caroline Bingley. I completely misread her, Richard. She was not attempting to curry my favor. Nor was she trying to use arts and allurements to increase my affections. In my pride as Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, the premier potential bridegroom on the marriage mart for the past five years, I never suspected how much she resented me.”
“Too bad, old chap.”
“The least you could do is utter the words with a modicum of sincerity, Richard. Your grin is not appreciated.”
“Ha! I happen to have it from several ladies that my smile is my most attractive feature, Darcy. You are just sour because, for the first time in your privileged life, you did not get what you wanted.” Slapping his knees, Richard stood. “I like Elizabeth Bennet already. I take it that you do, too.”
Resting his head on the back of the chair, Darcy admitted. “I do. Very much. She is unlike any young woman I have ever met. She walked three miles from Longbourn to Netherfield to care for her sister when she became ill. Three miles! She tolerated Caroline Bingley’s venom with grace. When she expresses her opinions freely, they are well-studied opinions, Rich. And her laughter is delightful.”
“Yet, you chose to insult her to her face. How could you, Darcy?”
He felt his cousin’s disappointment deep in his heart. There was no man Darcy admired or respected more than Richard.
“As you are already aware, there is no excuse that could satisfy any impartial judge. I will only state that the day was long and miserable. Bingley coerced me to go to that blasted assembly the evening of my arrival in Hertfordshire. His sister was a burr caught on my…well, I will not say aloud where it felt like she was caught, but nothing I did got rid of her. When we arrived at the assembly, the first words that I discerned inthe cacophony were how tall and wealthy I was. Speculation about my annual income fairly raced around the room. Mothers paraded their daughters under my nose. I felt hunted.”
Richard nodded. “I have seen it many times in London. You, who want to be left alone, are suddenly surrounded by a press of ladies batting their eyelashes and swishing their fans to capture your attention. While Bingley loves it, you do not.”
“You do, too, Richard. But you are correct. This time, however, the truth was that Mrs. Bennet threw her eldest at Bingley, a lady my friend delighted to catch. Then, she backed away, not attempting to push any of her four remaining girls at me. At the time, I was relieved. Now that I think about it, her conduct was odd. I was a single man with a fortune at my fingertips, and she did nothing to draw me in.”
“All five daughters are out?”
“They are. Miss Bennet, I guess, is near Bingley’s age. The youngest is the same age as Georgiana. For certain, all five do not possess the accomplishments that so many ladies in our sphere acquire from birth. Their father is indolent in his care of the family estate and in overseeing the future of his daughters. Their mother is vulgar. But Elizabeth and her elder sister have risen above these challenges. They are ladies through and through.” Darcy sighed.
“Hmm.” Richard filled their cups. After sitting across from Darcy, he said, “That had to be hard on you, having Bingley show you up for the first time.”
“What? No. Not at all.” Darcy fumed. “That never crossed my mind. I just wanted out of the assembly. I wanted privacy and quiet. Had I not known that Miss Bingley would have followed me back to Netherfield Park, I would have called for the carriage and left. Bingley was welcome to all the attention he could get.”
“I see.” Richard sipped his tea. “How did Miss Elizabeth react the next time you saw her?”
Closing his eyes, Darcy easily recalled the scene. “We were at Lucas Lodge, the former home of Mrs. Collins. It was quickly evident that the two eldest Miss Bennets and Miss Charlotte Lucas were intimates. Bingley singled out Jane Bennet like he was a sheepdog, and she was the prized lamb. Miss Elizabeth and Miss Lucas remained together the whole of the night. When Miss Lucas’s father requested that I dance with Miss Elizabeth, she refused me by saying she had no intention of dancing. Since her younger sisters were making a spectacle of themselves, I assumed she was attempting to set a good example by tempering her natural desires to participate in hopes of restoring Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia to better behavior. I now know that she truly did not want to stand up with me.”
“You really made a muddle out of this, Darce.”
“You do not know the half.”
“Then tell me.”
Darcy huffed. “Elizabeth is exceedingly kind, with a gentleness that draws me to her. Her mind is quick. She is not mean-spirited. I sense that injustice angers her deeply as it does me. When she smiles, which is often, her eyes light up like the sun.”
“Thus, your insult would have cut her deeply.”
Darcy hung his head. “Yes.”
“I am curious. Did she ever accept your offer for a dance?”
“She did not. Bingley held a ball on the last evening we were in Hertfordshire. Because of an injury she sustained while walking a particularly rough path at Netherfield Park, Miss Elizabeth did not attend.”
Quietly, his cousin asked, “So you never had the privilege of holding her hand. That is too bad.”
Standing, Darcy moved to the window overlooking Rosings Park’s massive gardens. “I not only held her hand, but I also held her in my arms when I carried her back to the house after shefell on the path. With her hands wrapped around my neck and her head resting on my shoulder, I…well, I realized how well her heartbeat was in tandem with mine. I liked her before her fall. But at that minute, I felt the beginning of love for the first time in my adult life.”
“What did you do then?”
