“But he is,” Elizabeth insisted, deciding to try to get to the heart of her tumult of emotions and thoughts. “At home, it is Jane everyone notices. When I came out, it was . . . inconsequential. I have had plenty of dance partners, but this is more to do with my being a good dancer and the number of ladies and gentlemen generally being equal at the few events I have attended. In addition, many of the young men are friends of my family, so they feel obligated.”
“Your sister is lovely, but I think you have heard of her superior nature and beauty for so long you are distinctly unaware not only of your own beauty but also of how others see you,”Mr. Barlow told her.
“I believe I am sensible of how I am perceived. I do not begrudge Jane any of the attention her beauty as well as her gracious and kind nature bring her.”
“No, of course you do not. Because you too are a good and kind sister and friend. But we have not gotten to the material point—the attention paid to you by our neighbour.”
“As I said, I was unaware of it. I enjoyed his company and our conversations, but I did not realise there was anything marked in the way he interacted with me.”
“While I do believe this is due in part to what we just spoke of, I will not belabour the point,” he added when she moved to argue. “In addition to the reasons I named earlier, I think you were unaware because there was nothing so overt or blatant in his behaviour. It was obvious to the rest of us merely because he is usually much more reserved, and to be honest, he has spoken of you several times since you met at Twelfth Night.”
This information caused a new fluttering in Elizabeth. He had thought of her ever since their first meeting months ago? She had thought of him but once or twice since that time with a fond sort of curiosity. At a loss for how to sort through all of her thoughts and feelings, Elizabeth chose to focus on beating Mr. Barlow before walking in the garden with Mary.
One week later as they prepared for another dinner with the Robertsons, it was Mary who helped Elizabeth calm her nerves.
“How am I to behave, Mary?” Elizabeth asked as Abigail added pins to her hair.
“Like you have at the other two occasions we hosted them,” Mary answered. “Nothing is different but your knowledge, and so the only variable is how you allow that knowledge to influence your actions.”
“You make it sound so simple,” Elizabeth protested.
“Well, it is simple—just try and behave as you always do.”
And she did, for the most part. There was an awkward moment when John came to sit by her when the gentlemen rejoined the ladies after dinner. He had done so previously, but now she knew or thought she knew that he sought her out not just due to a desire for conversation or because the other places were full. He was choosing her. She found this knowledge a little hard to manage while he sat so near. However, after a few stilted answers to his questions about her music lessons, she found her voice again, and the next quarter of an hour before she rose to perform a duet with Mary, as requested by John’s father, were spent in congenial conversation.
Chapter Eight
Summer 1809
“We are truly blessed to have our table graced with so many lovely ladies tonight,” Mr. Barlow declared, pushing back from the table and beaming at his guests.
The ladies in question, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Miss Mary Bennet, Miss Darcy and Miss Baxter, smiled back at him.
“I am thankful for this time together before many of you abandon me for parts unknown.”
“I will take no offence to being left out of the blessing,” Mr. Ashley said. “I cannot argue with your descriptor, nor would I quibble with your gratitude, which I share. I will, however, ask if I have been fooled into allowing my lovely betrothed out of my sight for a fortnight in the mistaken belief she will go no further than Yorkshire. Parts unknown, my love?”
“Well, they are unknown to some of us in that we have yet to visit them,” she answered, smiling at him.
The look they shared was filled with humour and fondness, but also seemed to hold some secret Elizabeth could not guess.
“While I am grateful to be included in the outing and imagine we will all greatly enjoy visiting Blenheim Castle, the ruins at Kenilworth and the peaks, I think you know I look forward most of all to the event to take place after our return.”
“That is good to know,” he said with a bright and satisfied smile.
“It is indeed,” Mr. Gardiner agreed, then raising his glass, he said, “To our adventures and the start of new things; to our extended and expanding family and our dear friends.”
The guests raised their glasses in response.
“I do seem to be doing most of the expanding,” Mrs. Gardiner laughed, patting her only slightly bulging belly.
When Elizabeth, Mary and Jane had arrived yesterday, they barely had time to take in their aunt’s somewhat altered figure before she burst with her news. They were expecting once again and anticipated the newest Gardiner would arrive in late fall.
After hugs and congratulations were exchanged,Elizabethassured her aunt, “We will not be put out at all if we must cancel or curtail our adventures. Please think nothing of it.” Her sisters quickly seconded this.
“Don’t be silly,” she insisted as the entire party made their way into the house. “I feel completely fine and am, for the time being, quite equal to the exertion. Though perhaps I willleave you girls to explore some of the more challenging rocks and hills.”
As soon as the party crossed the threshold of Barlow Hall, Amelia’s shouts of greeting could be heard. Moments later, she toddled into the entryway to greet her cousins, her nurse in tow. Jane delighted in this first meeting, while Mary andElizabethexclaimed at the little girl’s growth.
