While she fills up her stomach, I take the time to decide how the rest of tonight is going to go.
5
Nova
I’m not usually a believer in fate, but I don’t know what else to call this.
How do I go from feeling hollow—bracing myself to spend the holidays alone—to suddenly standing in the home of a man I’ve nursed a crush on for what feels like forever? One minute, I’m lonely; the next, I’ve got a warm meal in my stomach and tingles running through me like I’m plugged into a string of Christmas lights.
I feel young again. Like those Christmas Eves when sleep was impossible, when excitement hummed under my skin, and waiting felt unbearable. Only now, it’s not presents I’m desperate to wake up to—it’s him. The thought of losing even a moment with him tugs at something tender in me, holding me captive with a quiet, beautiful ache.
Stirring where I stand, I feel useless as he moves around me. Now that we’ve left the kitchen, and the night is growing late, there’s only one thing left to do.
I should settle down before I start buzzing. He’s going to notice at this rate.
Instead of watching him move like I want to, my eyes drift to the side as I bounce from one foot to the other.
“Can this thing really fit two people?” Taking in the recliner, I remember the way it easily swallowed me up. If this is really where I’ll be sleeping, something tells me that I’m about to get one of the best sleeps of my life.
It’s already so worn in, molded to Mason’s body, smelled like him, too, like smoke and pine.
He grunts as he prepares the fireplace, giving me some kind of non-committal answer. After going out of his way to hunt down a blanket, he’s going back and forth, going over the top to make sure I’m comfortable.
Once he’s dusting his hands free and standing tall, I nudge the chair with my hip. “Willing to sit? I’m not outright calling you a liar here, but I don’t believe you.”
Expecting him to call my request weird or strange, relief flickers when he doesn’t even lift a cautious brow. Instead, he does as I ask, returning to me. He follows my gaze before slowly taking a seat. Watching him swallow up the piece of furniture, I have to bite my bottom lip to contain my smile.
How does he do it? Everything he does pulls some kind of reaction out of me. Seeing him now, a delicious ache blooms low and demanding. Softly, it begs me to stop ignoring it.
This time… I might cave in.
“Can I?” All but whispering the words, my eyes fall to his lap. The longer I stare, the more I want to know if it feels as comfortable as it looks.
As his brows shoot up to his hairline, he doesn’t outright deny me. No, instead, he looks like he’s at a loss for words.
I’m a terrible person for taking advantage of this moment. Despite Mason going so far out of his way to help me, here I am, wanting things like this. Wanting things a neighbor has no right wanting.
Confused at first, he looks at the small gap that rests next to him. Too small to fit a second person. We both can see this; it’s an obvious thing. Yet, my patience shows I want to try anyway.
I don’t want to squish myself next to him. Why would I? There’s a seat staring right back at me.
“Your lap…” I say quietly, “There’s enough room for both of us.”
He blinks before his throat bobs. “You want to sit on my lap?”
Oh my, he’s going to make me spell it out, isn’t he?
“I’m just really curious, that’s all.” The lie flows out, and I shiver as I unconsciously step closer, my knee barely brushing his. “Is that weird?”
He shakes his head without thinking twice. His hands slide away from his thighs to give me room to climb on. Mason’s a mountain, I know this going in. Still, I’m out of breath once I crawl onto his lap. It takes all my strength not to melt against him right then and there.
At first, his body is completely stiff. Like he doesn’t know what to do with himself, his hands grip the armrests. Slowly, with each inhale, he tries to relax.
I should know better by now. Am I really going to keep making him uncomfortable? This is all because I’m such a greedy person, needing to swallow up any chance of contact I can get my hands on.
“Is this…” Sliding against him, his thighs feel so strong beneath me, easily supporting my weight. “…okay?”
His entire body vibrates with a grunt. Looking a little at a loss for words, his eyes dart around me like he can’t decide what he wants to look at. Finally, his eyes lift to meet my gaze.
