"I know. But knowing and believing?—"
"Are two different things," he finishes. "So let me help you believe it."
"How?"
He reaches out, takes my hand. "By showing you what it looks like when someone actually takes care of you."
My breath hitches. "Now?"
"If you want."
I search his face. I see patience there, and heat, and something that looks like tenderness. "Yes."
"Then come here."
He guides me onto his lap, my knees bracketing his hips, and the position is intimate without being overtly sexual. I can feel the solid warmth of him, the strength in his thighs. His hands settle on my waist, steady and sure.
"Look at me," he says softly.
I do.
"You're safe with me. Always. Do you believe that?"
"I'm trying to."
"That's enough for now." His thumbs stroke small circles against my sides. "I'm going to ask you questions. You're going to answer honestly. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Good girl." The praise makes me shiver. "When's the last time you ate a real meal? Not snacks. A meal outside of this weekend."
"I... don't remember. I grab things between shifts usually."
His expression doesn't change, but something darkens in his eyes. "That's not acceptable."
"I get busy?—"
"I don't care." His grip tightens fractionally. "Your body needs fuel. You can't take care of anyone else if you're running on empty."
"I'm fine. I get enough?—"
"Holly." The single word is firm enough to stop my protest. "What did I say about hiding behind deflection?"
I deflate slightly. "That I shouldn't."
"So, don't. Tell me the truth. Why don't you eat properly?"
The question cracks something open. "Because... it feels selfish? Like if I stop to take care of myself, I'm letting other people down because it’s taking time away from them."
"That's backwards."
"I know. But knowing and?—"
"Believing." He repeats the phrase I said before and nods. "Then we'll work on that. Starting now. From this moment forward, you eat three meals a day. Real food, not just cocoa and candy canes. You can meal plan in advance and text me. It doesn’t have to be hot or complicated. Just have some nutrition. "
"That's very controlling."
"It's care. There's a difference." He tips my chin up. "And you're going to let me, because that's what you asked for. Someone who notices when you're not taking care of yourself."
