RED
DAY 4 ~ DECEMBER 27
The fire's burned down to embers, and I should be asleep.
We're sharing the bed like reasonable adults—her on one side, me on the other, a careful strip of mattress between us that may as well be a minefield. Every breath she takes registers in my awareness, so does every shift of the sheets, and every soft sigh.
I’ve slept in worse conditions. Combat zones. Forward operating bases. The back of a Humvee in 120-degree heat.
But none of those involved a woman who smells like vanilla lying three feet away from me in my bed.
I keep my breathing controlled and steady, the way I learned in sniper training. Slow inhale through the nose. Hold. Exhale. Repeat. If I stay still enough, maybe she'll drift off, and this torture will end.
The mattress dips as she shifts onto her side, facing toward me.
I go completely still.
Bear snores from his spot by the dying fire, oblivious to the fact that his owner is slowly losing his mind.
"Hey."
Her voice cuts through the darkness, and I curse internally.
"You're not asleep,” I say gruffly.
"Neither are you."
"Clearly not."
"Touché."
She rolls onto her back, and the mattress shifts again. Warmth radiates from her body, and the faint scent of my soap on her skin fills the air from when she washed up earlier.
She’s still wearing my sweater, in my bed. My space is invaded by curves and chatter and everything I've been trying to keep out for too long.
"What are you doing? Just… lying there?" she asks in a small voice.
I exhale through my nose. "I’m trying to sleep."
"How's that working out for you?"
Terribly."Fine."
Silence. Then she props herself up on one elbow, and I feel her eyes on me.
"Well, you look comfortable."
This woman doesn't know when to quit. "Go to sleep, Cookie."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because you're over there pretending to be a corpse, and it's distracting."
I turn my head toward her, and in the dim glow from what’s left of the fire, I can see the outline of her face, the fall of her hair across her shoulder. "Distracting?"
"Yes, you're breathing like you're in a meditation class. It's weird."
