“Crane.”
It’s all she says, but I know.
I can’t stay here.
The body of my father lies at my feet, and for a moment in time, I wonder if I can stop his chest rising and falling by cutting off his airway.
“I should kill him right now,” I whisper, staring at his smashed-up face. “He’s out cold, it would be so easy?—”
“Crane! Listen to yourself, this isn’t who you are!” Mom sobs, her hands trembling as she tries to hold me close. “Leave him, you’ve done enough damage.”
I twist my body so I’m staring at her, my mouth dropping open with disbelief.
I’ve done enough damage?
What about the years of abuse he’s inflicted on us?
Does she not see any of it anymore?
My heart drops when she shakes her head sadly, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes.
I want to scream at her, shake some fucking sense into her, but instead I respond, “Are you fucking serious?”
“Look, maybe you should go and stay with Kai for a few days; I’m sure the Carsons wouldn’t mind…”
This is unbelievable.
“Are you fucking serious right now?!” I repeat, watching as she bows her head. “You want me to go?”
“Crane, I don’t have much choice! If I leave, he will find me. He willneverlet me go.” Mom moves her hands, looking at me with defeated eyes. “I’ve accepted my fate, but you don’t have to accept yours. You can doanything.”
My throat burns with emotion as I shake my head, my vision blurring with tears.
This isn’t right; it’s not over for her. She’s too young, too lovely for this.
“He doesn’t deserve you, Mom!”
Mom slumps against the wall, looking a hundred years older than she is. Her eyes are ringed with a darkness that only comes from living in hell, her skin pale and bruised.
“Crane, please. Just go. I’ll tell him he did this to himself falling over; he won’t remember…”
“I’m not leaving you.”
Mom looks up at me, reaching out to cup my face in her tiny hands.
A lump forms in my throat when she shakes her head sadly.
“I’m doing this for you. I’ll get you a room on campus; you’ll have to share, but?—”
“Mom…” I press her hands to my cheeks as she continues.
“It’s better than being here. This was my choice; I married him. Believe it or not, I still see the man I married sometimes, and I truly believe he’s in there somewhere. I need to help him, Crane.”
I know she’s right about it being better than being here, but so fucking what if she made a choice twenty fucking years ago?
She can make another one, right now.
“Crane.” Mom rests her head on mine, her thumbs rubbing my cheeks. “You can’t help me, trust me. I’m not leaving him.”
