I press my hand to his chest. Wow. Hard. Firm. A testament to consistent workouts and dedication to the gym. Finn has a body that feelsearned.
I nuzzle my nose against his left pec, smiling. Mere inches away from his heart, I can hear it beating away.
Strong.
Steady.
Just like Finn.
How are all my senses engaged in this dream?
When I dream about Gran—which is often—it’s hard to smell or taste or feel. But for some reason, I can feel Finn’s skin beneath my hand, and I can even smell the subtle fragrance of his body wash.
“Mm.” The hum travels from deep inside my body as I slide my palm over the hills and valleys of his arm up to his shoulder and neck.
My watch is quiet.
So beautifully silent.
How refreshing.
What should I touch now? I feel like a kid in a toy store. More accurately, a kid with ablank checkin a toy store. I can have anything I want. Take things off the shelf, rip the packaging, and play to my heart’s content.
Should I go below the belt and find out what all the fuss about The Kings is about?
Or grab him by the neck the way he does so often to me?
Should I threaten to killhimand see how he likes it?
I smile again.
Finn grunts. “What are you so happy about?”
My eyes slide down his arm, and I let my fingers follow the same trajectory until I reach his hand. There, I wrap my fingers around his.
Finn’s eyes narrow.
Mine widen.
Whoa.
“So this is what it feels like,” I murmur, feeling choked up.
Finn tilts his head. “Holding hands?”
“I wish I could touch someone like this in real life,” I murmur, dazed at the sight of our joined hands.
His palm is rough and hard. There are callouses from playing the bass guitar on the tips of his fingers, and his knuckles are scabbed over with new and old wounds.
“If I ever truly fall in love with someone, they’ll have to treat me like I have an infectious disease. Something this small”—I blink rapidly, feeling my emotions swell—“is impossible for me.”
This is why I revealed myself to Finn and The Kings. This is why I keep risking my life, pushing forward and ingratiating myself to them despite their suspicions.
It’s my deepest desire to be close to someone I love one day.
And the only way to get what I need is to give them what they want.
Dream Finn shifts his hand away. And I’m so used to Finn pulling back in real life that it doesn’t affect me at all.
