It's a revelation.
Real fathers sharing real experiences. Photos of babies doing adorable things. Questions about sleep schedules and feeding routines. Men admitting they're terrified and getting support instead of judgment.
I create an account.
Username: WineCriticDad
I scroll through posts, taking notes. Someone mentions the "fourth trimester"—apparently babies are basically still gestating for three months after birth. Someone else discusses sleep training methods. A third person shares a photo of their baby sleeping in a tiny hammock.
I bookmark everything.
At 4 AM, I'm watching YouTube videos on how to properly install a car seat. Apparently, 80% of car seats are installed incorrectly. That's terrifying. I take detailed notes on LATCH systems and angle requirements.
At 5 AM, I'm deep into a comparison of bottle nipple flow rates when I hear footsteps.
"Miles?"
I look up. Emma's standing in the doorway of my office in her pajamas, hair messy from sleep, looking at me like I've lost my mind.
"It's 5am," she says.
"Did you know babies can't see color at first?"
She blinks. Looks at my laptop. At my phone with approximately thirty-seven tabs open. At the three pages of handwritten notes spread across my desk.
"What are you doing?"
"Research."
"It's five in the morning."
"I couldn't sleep."
She walks over, taking in the screen showing a detailed comparison of diaper brands. "Miles. Come to bed."
"But I haven't researched bottles yet. Apparently nipple flow rate is crucial?—"
"We have SEVEN MONTHS."
"Seven months and three weeks."
"MILES."
She gently closes my laptop. Takes my phone and sets it face-down on the desk. Gathers my notes into a neat pile.
"You're spiraling," she says softly.
"I'm preparing."
"You're obsessing."
"What if I don't know what I'm doing?"
"Nobody knows what they're doing at first. That's normal."
"I ran tactical operations in hostile environments. I should be able to handle a baby."
"A baby is not a tactical operation."
