I change into the gown, sit on the exam table, and try to remember how to breathe like a normal person.
Dr. Martinez knocks and enters—a woman in her fifties with kind eyes and an easy smile. She doesn't comment on the fact that I kept my scarf on.
"Emma." She extends her hand. "I'm Dr. Martinez. Congratulations."
"Thank you." My voice sounds so small.
She settles onto a stool, pulling up my chart on her tablet. "So, first prenatal visit. Let's start with the basics. When was your last period?"
I tell her. She calculates, nods, makes notes.
"That puts you at about six weeks. How are you feeling?"
"Nauseous. Exhausted. Emotionally unstable. Obsessed with pickles."
She smiles. "All completely normal. The nausea usually peaks around nine to ten weeks and then starts to improve. The exhaustion is your body working overtime to build a human. And the pickle thing—" she laughs, "—I had a patient who ate nothing but jalapeños for three months."
"That's horrifying."
"Pregnancy is weird. But you're handling it." She makes more notes. "Any spotting? Cramping?"
"No."
"Good. Let's do an exam and then we'll talk about prenatal care, nutrition, what to expect."
The exam is quick and professional. Dr. Martinez explains everything as she goes, answering questions I didn't know I had. When she's done, I'm back in my paper gown feeling simultaneously relieved and terrified.
"Everything looks great," she says, washing her hands. "You're measuring right on track for six weeks. Now, let's talk about support. Have you told your partner?"
I stare at my hands. "Not yet."
Her expression shifts to concerned. "Emma, you need support during pregnancy. This isn't something you should go through alone."
"I know. I just wanted to be sure first. Make sure everything was... real."
"It's real." She sits back down, her voice gentle. "And I understand wanting to process things before sharing. But your partner needs to be involved. Pregnancy affects both of you."
"He'll be supportive. I know he will. I'm just—" I stop, not sure how to explain the tangle of emotions. "I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Everything. That he won't want this. That I'm not ready. That I can't handle my career and a baby. That I'm going to fail at all of it."
Dr. Martinez hands me a tissue. I hadn't realized I was crying.
"Emma, those fears are completely normal. Every expectant parent has them. But keeping them to yourself only makes them worse." She pulls out information packets from a drawer. "Here's information on prenatal care, nutrition guidelines, whatsymptoms to watch for. I want you taking prenatal vitamins daily. Staying hydrated. And seriously considering reducing your stress levels."
"I'm a lawyer. Stress is my job description."
"What kind of law?"
"Solo practice. Corporate litigation. I handle everything myself."
She winces slightly. "That's a lot. Have you considered getting help? Associates, support staff?"
I think about the Preston offer sitting in my briefcase. "Actually, I've been offered a merger. Partnership at an established firm. More resources, support staff, actual benefits."
Dr. Martinez lights up. "That might be perfect timing. The benefits package at established firms is usually excellent, especially for maternity leave. You'd have built-in support, which is crucial during pregnancy and after."
