Blake wiped his mouth with the silky napkin and slid out of his chair but didn’t leave the room without kissing me on the forehead. Though it wasn’t on the lips, it was the first time he kissed me. I was shocked. We never said we would do any overt displays of affection. But then again, even if we had, the rules were changing every moment.
I watched him walk out of the room as I regained my composure. No need to let Patsy think that was unusual or unexpected. “Shall we go sit by the fire, Claire?”
I nodded, and we found a place to sit on the overstuffed leather sectional. It wasn’t as stiff as it looked and actually quite comfortable. As I looked around the room, I loved everything in it, especially the stone fireplace that went all the way to the ceiling—eighteen feet, if I had to guess.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Claire. You’re the first girl whom Blake has brought home, you know.” Patsy winked at me. “I take it that things are very special between you two.”
Her words were a double whammy. I looked over to the glass doors to see Blake and his father stargazing, the smoke from James’ cigar billowing above him.
“He is a really special guy.” It was true, Blake was a gem. He just wasn’t mine, though I was starting to wish he was.
“It comes at a great time. James is ready to retire, but he doesn’t want to hand the reins over to Blake until he’s married. Call him old-fashioned? James is worried that our handsome boy will be thought of as a playboy unless he’s settled down with a family. But no pressure from us; go at your own pace.”
Patsy was beaming as my stomach felt like it fell three stories. It all made sense now. This is why Blake introduced me as his girlfriend; the optics of the public forehead kiss; the humble bragging about my work. Blake needed me to be his fake girlfriend just as much as I needed him.
And I had thought he was falling for me. No. He was priming me for the big one.
As James and Blake shuffled back in from the patio, everything was different. It was like someone had removed the rose-colored lenses from my eyes. I put my best face forward, helping Blake out by being the best fake girlfriend there ever was. When he made a joke, I laughed. When hespoke about his favorite pets at the animal shelter, I put my hand on his. And when the night came to a natural close, I stood up, expressing it was past my bedtime. Everyone gave me a hug goodnight, and Blake walked me out. I didn’t realize it before, but Tom had been waiting outside this entire time.
“Thank you for coming, Claire. It was the perfect evening.” Blake had his arm around me as we walked outside. He grabbed a heavy coat from the rack and slid it over my shoulders.
“I had a lovely evening.”
Once the door shut behind us, I got real. “I hope that helped you out. Your mom told me about your dad not wanting to leave the company to you until you had a wife.” The color from Blake’s face drained. “It’s totally cool. I just wish you had told me before, that’s all. I’m glad we could help each other out like this.”
“Claire, believe me when I say things are not what they seem with—”
I cut him off, feeling my knees shake in the cold. “Blake, it’s all good. I promise. At first, yes, I was caught by surprise, but we each had something to gain from this, andI’m happy to help. Now, I really should go before I get frostbite.”
My teeth were chattering as I walked towards the Suburban with Tom springing into action to open the door for me. After Tom returned to the driver’s seat, I told him to wait just a moment, and I rolled down the window, handing Blake his jacket. “Here’s your coat. And before I forget… Tomorrow is the last day of the ski retreat, and I have a huge week ahead of me for my job search, so I’ll probably hit the road after my ski lesson. It was great meeting you, Blake. I wish you all the best in the world. You really do deserve it.”
I rolled the window back up and fought back my emotions. I thought Blake and I were toeing the line, forming a true connection, but instead, it was just what we said it was: a fake relationship. I clasped my hands and said a silent prayer.
Lord, you know my heart. You know my needs before I do. I trust that You will lead me down the right path. Amen.
Feeling sad wasn’t on my bingo card for that night, but it was my own fault. I looked into something deeper and felt things that weren’t real. I was paying the price. Again. Maybe it was time I swore off love forever.
Returning back to the lodge, I texted Tamara that I was ready for bed. I filled it with many more platitudes about the beautiful home, the magical views, and the delicious food. I left out the parts about his father telling me the truth about my old boss, and his mother revealing family secrets, and the fact that Blake had never brought a girl home before me. What did it all mean? And my mind went back to Patricia never submitting my design. Did she really dislike me that much? What in the world was going on there? I’d get to the bottom of that later. I just had to get some much-needed rest before my last ski day.
Chapter 9
December 31st
Of all the days to sleep in, it was the perfect one to do so. I felt no hurry to get out of bed and face reality. The bed in my hotel room was luxurious with soft down pillows and duvet, topped with thick cotton sheets. For being a busy ski lodge, it was very quiet there, more so than my condo in the heart of town. I slept like a rock, and I woke up with a feeling of clarity.
Blake wasn’t out to hurt me. Blake was out to help me, and in return, help himself. I couldn’t be mad at that since he held up his end of the bargain. I just wished I’d known what my end was… But would it have changed anything? Would I have turned it down if it wasn’t completely one sided, in my favor? No, I supposed not.
As I brushed my teeth and combed my hair, I wondered why Blake hadn’t brought anyone home over the years. He was gorgeous, at least to me. His appealing auburn hair and olive skin were so striking with his pale eyes. He had a wonderful personality and always kept me laughing. He told me right off the bat that his goal was to have a wife and children one day, so… What was the hold up? Surely a guy like him could have had any woman he wanted. I got dressed, focused on the topic like a laser, sighing. It was really none of my business, I supposed.
It was a rash decision that I would leave that night instead of the next morning, and I was regretting it, but I felt like I should get back. I had left so hastily the prior week after getting fired, that my condo was a complete disaster inside. If I could get it nice and clean, my clothes washed and dishes done, I could start the new year with peace and better intentions. On that note, I pulled out my devotional book and Bible.
After being immersed in the text for nearly half an hour, my stomach growled. I felt so much better after gettingconnected with God at the start of my day. Next, it was time to connect with pancakes and syrup.
The dining room had all but cleared out by the time I arrived. Only a few stragglers were still eating. I couldn’t see who the groups of people were in the booths that lined both walls, so I beelined it for the front booth. That way, I wouldn’t have to walk past anyone.
Once I devoured my plate of pancakes and slurped down an extra-strong coffee, I got up and gathered my hat and gloves. I was on my last ski outfit of the trip, wearing a pink zip up pullover under my bright red jacket. The colors had worked so well with Tara when she looked like a walking Valentine, so I decided to try it myself. That, and I really needed to do some laundry.
As soon as I turned around, Theo was standing in front of me. “Oh, hello,” I said quietly, almost under my breath and walked around him. He stayed in place, stoic, but ended up finding me a few minutes later in the gear room. I was at the gear counter, asking for a ski boot a size larger when he interjected.
