I glance down at my hands, picking at the peeling polish.
I miss him like the dessert misses rain. Like a half-finished song aches for the last note. I miss him like a tree in winter misses its leaves. Like he’s a phantom limb. Without him, I’m a ghost, continuously searching for the warmth of its own body.
But I can’t always be Brandon’s buddy.
I want love—a real relationship where I can build something beyond college. I want a family and kids in my future.
And a best friend can’t give me that.
“You know I do,” I say, shaking off the heaviness my thoughts leave in their wake. “But this is just how it has to be.” I shrug, feeling helpless. In a perfect world, Ethan and Brandon would become best friends, and I wouldn’t have to lose either of them to keep the other.
The silence stretches between us, heavy with unspoken words. I’m about to suggest we try on more outfits simply to lighten the mood when my phone chimes from the nightstand.
I reach for it, grateful for the distraction from this conversation that’s veering into territory I’d rather avoid. But whatever short-lived relief I felt at the interruption vanishes as Brandon’s number appears on my screen.
“Who is it?” Liz asks, noticing my expression change.
“Brandon.”
Charlotte winces. “He’s still texting you?”
I nod, hating the way my chest instantly tightens at the sight of his number. “Though not as much as before.”
“What does he want?” Brynn asks, her face softening with sympathy.
“I don’t know.” I chew my lip, debating whether to open it. After a moment, I reluctantly click on the text, frowning as I try to make sense of the screenshot he sent me.
It’s of the BookTok I posted last night, and I try to avoid the full body reaction to the fact he’s still following me and viewing all my content despite us not speaking. My gaze flickers over the screen. In the right-hand corner, he’s circled the view count—600k.
“Holy sh—” I cover my mouth, sucking in a breath.
“What?” Charlotte scrambles off the chair and peers over my shoulder. “Oh my god!”
“What is it?” Samantha and Avery ask in unison, moving closer.
“The BookTok I posted this morning. Brandon sent me a screenshot of it, and it has tons of views.”
“How many?” Brynn asks, leaning over my screen to see.
“It’s at over half a million views already,” I murmur, feeling slightly numb.
Liz gasps. “Is that the one you showed me about your review of theParamourseries? Because it was freaking fantastic.”
I nod, already navigating in the app when Liz motions to my phone. “Check it now.” She waves her hands, her expression giddy as I open my profile.
My eyes widen as I check the screen. “It’s at six hundred seventeen thousand now.”
I stare at the screen in shock.
I’ve never gotten this many views in such a short time before, and when I refresh the screen, the number goes up again. “Six hundred eighteen.”
I laugh and refresh again. And again.
Every time I refresh my screen, my views jump by hundreds.
“I’m going viral,” I whisper, torn between shock and elation.
“Ah!” Liz squeals. “What’s it at now?”
