I shake my head as icy fingers claw my chest.
What would Ethan think if he knew I was here talking to Brandon?
“I need to go,” I say, and then disappear into the bathroom where I lock myself inside.
Chapter 22
TATUM
“It’s just clothes,” I mutter. “Why is this so hard?”
“Because you want to make a good impression,” Liz says, digging in my wardrobe to pull out an emerald-green dress.
She holds it up, and I consider it before shaking my head.
“At this rate, I’ll end up meeting his friends nude,” I grumble.
“I bet he’dlovethat,” Brynn says wagging her eyebrows from her perch on my bed.
I laugh in spite of myself. In only a few hours, Ethan will arrive for the weekend with his friends. His college friends. The same ones who were kind enough to drop him off when my car broke down, but I’ve never formally met. Which means this isn’t just about clothes. It’s first impressions—Ethan’s approving smile versus his tight-lipped frown. It’s the difference between belonging and standing awkwardly on the peripheryof inside jokes and shared memories. Soon, I’ll be going to the same school as them, which means I need to fit into their world.
My fingers stop on a hanger holding the sapphire-blue dress I’d bought last spring off the sale rack. The fabric is soft and thick beneath my fingertips; it’s the same brilliant shade I wore the day I met him.
“Maybe?” I say, pulling it from the closet.
Charlotte eyes it from her spot at my desk. “I like it.”
“Let’s see it on,” Samantha agrees.
I lift the dress over my head, and it slips over my body like silk, the material falling into place around my curves. I turn to face the full-length mirror and feel a flutter of confidence. The color makes my eyes pop and complements my dark hair. The slight V-neck is flattering without being too revealing, and the fit is perfect around my waist.
Behind me, Avery clasps her hands in front of her and smiles. “I love it.”
“Yeah?”
She nods. “The only thing I don’t like is that you won’t be hanging with all of us tonight.”
I sigh and remove the dress, placing it back on the hanger and slipping into my robe before I make my way onto the bed beside Brynn. “I know, but you know I can’t.”
“We get it,” Charlotte says. “Doesn’t make it suck anyless, though.”
Beside me Brynn nods. “We’re like kids from a broken marriage. One night, you get custody, and another night we get Brandon.”
I can’t help but smile even though the thought of Brandon makes my heart ache. “Did you just compare yourselves to our kids?”
“That’s us,” Charlotte says with an eye roll. “One big crazy family.”
“Do you really think you’re going to avoid Brandon forever?” Liz asks, sinking down onto the rug in front of my wardrobe. “And what about us? Once you transfer, will you at least come back to see us?”
“Yeah. It seems unfair that we finally get to really know you just when you’re leaving.”
“Of course I’ll come see you guys. And you can come visit, too. As for Brandon . . .”
I bite my lip, thinking about my answer. They’re not asking anything I haven’t already thought about. And the truth is, I’m not sure I have an answer. Cutting Brandon from my life permanently feels impossible—like some kind of cruel and unusual punishment I’m not sure I deserve. But I also can’t imagine a world in which he and Ethan will ever be friends, so I’m at a loss as to where that leaves us.
“Do you miss him?” Samantha asks.
How could I not?
