“Stop.” I bite my lip, wondering if it’ll ever get old hearing a man like Ethan say how much he wants me.
“I’m serious. It’s only been three months, but I see this going somewhere, Tatum. Beyond college.”
“You do?” I ask, my voice a throaty rasp.
He answers with a low chuckle. “Why do you think I want you to transfer so bad? I want to start building our life now. I want all my friends at school to meet you. To show you all myfavorite haunts and make new memories with you. I want you in all parts of my life, not just the stolen weekends.”
His words wrap around me like a weighted blanket, warm and comforting and secure. This is what I’ve wanted—someone who’s certain about me, who doesn’t hesitate to say how they feel.
But Brandon won’t be there . . .
The thought halts the warmth spreading through my limbs. Instead, it catches inside my throat like a burr.
He’s been involved in every single facet of my life for so long, I can’t imagine a world in which he’s not my center of gravity, and for the first time since Ethan asked me to transfer schools to be with him, I wonder if I can actually do it. If I can leave Brandon behind.
I swallow hard, trying to dislodge the feeling into the gaping silence.
“Tatum? You still there?”
“Uh, yeah. Of course.” I clear my throat. “I want that, too.”
“You sure, because it’s not too late?”
“I’m sure,” I say, rushing to reassure him. “Look, I hate to do this, but I should probably go. I have a paper I need to work on, and it’s getting late. If I don’t start now, I’ll wind up going straight to bed without doing anything.”
“So responsible,” he says, and I can’t tell if he’s teasing or if it’s a dig. “Call me tomorrow?”
“Sure thing,” I say, then I hang up and toss the phone on the couch beside me, flopping back into the soft cushions with a huff.
I stare at the ceiling, my thoughts swirling like leaves caught in the wind. The conversation with Brandon keeps replaying in my mind—the way his face fell when I mentioned transferring, how he couldn’t even look at me when he left. I’ve never seen him like that before, and it’s making my stomach churn with guilt.
Maybe I should have eased into the news about transferring instead of just blurting it out. But how do you gently tell your best friend you’re planning to leave them?
I close my eyes, replaying the last half hour in my head. Brandon’s reaction versus Ethan’s expectations. The stark contrast between them has my stomach twisting in knots.
Am I making a mistake? I pull my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. Transferring to Michigan State would mean starting over—new campus, new friends, new everything. Brandon has been my sidekick for so long, I’m not sure what life without him constantly at my side looks like. But staying means risking the first relationship I’ve ever had, one that has the potential to go somewhere. It means continuing to play the role of Brandon’s best friend because if I’m being honest with myself, the life I’ve built in Ann Arbor revolves solely around him. His friends. His hangouts. His games on the weekends. All because he’s always been enough. I’ve never wanted or needed anything beyond what we have.
Until now.
And now I want them both.
The thought slips in before I can stop it.
I stare at my phone on the cushion, then at the door Brandon just walked through, and something inside me fractures. The space between those two points—between the man who wants me to come to him and the one who’s always been at my side—suddenly seems impossible to bridge.
I wonder if it’s even possible to have both. To keep Brandon in my life exactly as he is now while building something with Ethan. Is that selfish? To want my best friend and my boyfriend without having to choose between them?
Chapter 3
BRANDON
Iwalk into Java the Hutt with a scowl on my face to find the guys lounging on chairs in the back of the little coffee shop, next to the Yoda side table I happen to find creepy as fuck. Their voices carry toward me as I make my way to the counter, tipping my chin toward the cute blonde barista, who also happens to be our quarterback’s girlfriend. “Avery.”
“Brandon!” She turns her bright smile on me as she hands a customer their coffee. “I haven’t seen you around. How’s the start of the season going?”
I grunt, avoiding her eyes, because I’m pretty sure she knows exactly how the season is going since she was at Chris’s apartment with Damon, our QB, the day I had an epic meltdown over the fact Tatum got a boyfriend over the summer.
“Fine,” I mumble as I stare at the menu, pretending I’m contemplating what to order when really, I’m contemplating all the ways in which I can off Ethan White.
