I fight the urge to loosen the collar of my T-shirt, willing the second brain in my pants to calm the fuck down, so I can hear everything she has to say, knowing this is my moment.
Finally.
After all this time, Tate has come to her senses. I’ve won, and the guys were right. After one night together, she’s now realized she has feelings for me?that we’re perfect for each other?and she can’t stand the thought of either one of us with other people.
I’m it.
Front and center.
Her endgame.
And it feels fucking incredible.
“You want to continue sleeping together on a regular basis?” I ask just to be clear we’re on the same page.
I want to tell her there’s a term for that.
The wordgirlfriendhas a nice ring to it.
She shrugs, attempting casual but failing miserably. “I mean, we’re both single, and we’re best friends. We trust each other. And, like you said, it was incredible. So, a friends with benefits situation would probably suit us.”
My stomach sinks like a stone. All the blood drains from my face as I repeat her words back in my head, as if trying todecipher their meaning, because she can’t possibly be saying what I think she’s saying.
A friends with benefits situation?
Fuuuuck!
I try to keep my composure, but it’s pretty tough when it feels like I’m dying inside.
My smile falters, and to make matters worse, she misreads the look on my face and quickly adds, “No strings,” as if that will somehow make the fact she’s just danced on the grave of my hope better.
I swallow, trying to find my words, but I have none. My mind is an empty tomb as the reality of my situation sinks in. Even after last night?the perfect night together?Tate still views me as nothing more than a friend.
“Sure, yeah,” I mumble, unable to even think, let alone form a coherent sentence. “That’s great. Perfect.”
Perfect? What the fuck am I agreeing to?
Tate sinks back into the booth with a sigh as if she’d been holding her breath. “I’m so relieved,” she says with a little laugh. “For a second there, I didn’t knowwhatyou were thinking.”
I was thinking I love you.
How I’d give my right arm to call you mine.
That it fucking kills me that you only see me as a friend?even now?even after we shared the most intimate connection humanly possible.
I force a smile that feels more like a grimace, amazed I’m even able to smile at all. “Just took me by surprise,” Isay, then shovel my omelet into my mouth where it settles like concrete, while the part of me that wants forever with her quietly shatters into a hundred small, private pieces.
“Great.” She beams as she turns her attention to her breakfast. “I’m glad we’re on the same page, then.”
“I told you it would backfire!” I yell as I pace in front of the sofa while West stares up at me from the book in his hands. “I knew sleeping together before I told her the truth about how I really feel was a bad idea, butnoooo!Sleep with her,you said.It’ll make her fall for you,you said.”
I stop abruptly pacing, long enough to peer down at him. “Well, good fucking plan. Now, not only does shenothave feelings for me, but I feel like I’m even more friend zoned than ever before.”
West slowly scratches his jaw. “Are you sure there’s no chance she was just testing you, maybe to see if there were any feelings there?”
I scoff. “She made it pretty damn clear she sees us as just friends.”
I flop onto the couch, burying my face in my hands.
