“Parker?” I try going through my breathing exercises again, desperately reaching for control. I’m too panicked and none of this conversation is making sense. I want to scream at him to shut up, and just give me a damn minute.
“Mr. Gates,” he repeats, voice suddenly soft and careful as though he’s speaking to a frightened animal. “You are aware of the contents of your sister and brother-in-law’s last will and testament, correct?”
“No. Of course not.” Why the hell would I know what was in their will? Ambient noise travels down the line, as though he’s moving things around or, more likely, trying to find a hard object to bash his head against. “Sorry,” I apologize, feeling as though I’ve somehow let him down.
He sighs. “Mr. Gates, I am sorry to be having this conversation over the phone. I was unaware that you had not beennotified of the contents of the will. You were named as the sole guardian of Parker Lewis, as well as the recipient of their estate, under the stipulation that it be used to care for the child.”
“Guardian,” I repeat, barely able to get the word out, tongue suddenly feeling thick and useless. Guardian? I can hardly remember the meaning of the word.
“Victoria and Paul Lewis designated sole custody of their son to you.”
Darkness nips at the corner of my vision, and I sway.Good thing I’m sitting down, I think distantly, recognizing that I am unlikely to make it through this conversation without fainting. The lawyer is still talking—his voice nothing more than a steady thrum joining the heartbeat pounding through my eardrums. Does it even matter what he’s saying? The only thing that matters has already been said.
Parker is mine.
William Jost’spractice looks like a cigar and whiskey lounge. The leather chair I’m sitting in squeaks every time I move, and I feel disproportionately embarrassed about it. The harder I try to sit still, the stronger the urge to move. Squeak, squeak, squeak.
“Desmond, stop fidgeting,” Mum snaps, frown lines carving deep rivets in her face. It’s strange, seeing her so old. Ten years have passed since the last time I saw my parents in person, and my imagination failed at filling in the blanks. The woman sitting next to me is not one I recognize. Dad, hovering awkwardly in the corner, looks older as well. Twice as old as Mum, if I’m being honest. Victoria would say thatliving with her is killing him twice as fast. I nearly laugh, but swallow it down with a strangled noise that earns me another pointed look from Mum. Children are meant to be seen and not heard, even the adult ones.
“Ma’am,” William Jost says carefully, the same way he’s started every sentence directed toward her in the last five minutes. She’s starting to wear on his patience. “This is a legal document, not an errant thought penned on a scrap of paper. Your daughter and her husband named a sole guardian, and that guardian is your son. Not you. Not Mr. Lewis’ sister. Desmond Gates.”
Mum makes a noise in the back of her throat that sounds like something a cougar might produce. I close my eyes. I have never been so exhausted as I am right now, sitting in this fucking office in South Carolina, jet-lagged and numb. Perhaps I’m the one who’s dead, and this is a special purgatory just for me.
“This is ridiculous,” Mum hisses. “He is unfit to take care of a child! I don’t knowwhatVictoria was thinking.”
Opening my eyes, I meet the gaze of Mr. Jost. I see pity before he slides his eyes back over to my mother.
“As I’ve explained, a court will review and determine the best interest of the child.”
“And until then? My grandson is meant to live with?—”
“Desmond Gates, as granted by your daughter,” he cuts her off firmly.
“I cannot believe this. I really cannot,” Mum says, rising to standing and pressing her fingers into her eyes. I shift, and the chair squeaks. “He doesn’tlivehere. Do you people not understand? This is…this isridiculous.”
“I’ll move.” Both sets of eyes snap to me. It’s the first I’ve spoken in fifteen minutes. I clear my throat. “I’ll move here.”
“And where do you think you’ll live, Desmond? Can you afford the mortgage on their house?” Mum says, rounding on me. “And what about work? What sort of job do you expect to find at such short notice? McDonald’s?”
She laughs and throws her hands up, before spinning away and pacing across the room. It’s the same way she’d react when we were kids, slightly hysterical and over-the-top. I have the sudden, insane urge to call my sister and laugh about it.
“I found an apartment in the same district Parker goes to school in,” I say quietly. I am so incredibly tired. “I also reached out to the head?—”
“When?” Mum demands. “When did you do this? You’ve been here for two days!”
I continue on as though she didn’t interrupt, “—coach of the university hockey team. They have a job posting for a supporting coaching position. I have a meeting scheduled later today.”
This time, the noise she makes could only be interpreted as a growl. She points at William Jost, who stares at her impassively.
“I will not stand for this,” she tells him. Threatens him, really, although he doesn’t look like he cares all that much.
“Mr. Gates’ fitness as a parent will be determined by a court of law,” he replies firmly. “Until then, you have no choice.”
Leaving Jost Family Law feels like I’ve just been pardoned from death row. I’ve been here so much over the past couple of days, the hotel room I booked seems like a waste. Behind me, Mum leaves the office and strides purposely down the footpath, heels clicking on the pavement. She doesn’t even glance my direction. Dad trails a few paces behind her, handsin his pockets and shoulders curled inward. He looks at me and away quickly, as though I’m a stranger.
Dad is such a limp noodle,Victoria used to say.One day we’re probably going to find out he’s a serial killer or something. He probably murders women that look like Mum when he’s away on work trips.
She could never quite figure out how to navigate a conversation without dropping something inappropriate into the mix, and I loved it. She always felt like the only real person I’d ever talked to. Or will ever talk to again, apparently.
