When we finally stop at the overlook, I'm not ready. I’ll never be ready. But I slide off the bike anyway, pulling off the helmet. My hair's a mess, pink streaks tangled with blonde, but I don't care.
You okay?Tank signs, and the gentleness in those dark eyes breaks something inside me.
"Perfect," I croak.
The others join us, and we sit on the hood of Kade's car, passing the vodka around and watching the sun sink toward the horizon. The tin roofs look fucking beautiful tonight.
Jinx regales us with more stories, each more ridiculous than the last. He's a pathological liar, but it's part of his charm. Cyrus shows us some hack he's working on. Tank is silent as always, but his shoulder presses against mine deliberately, solid and warm. Kade shares his joint, and for once, he’s as quiet as his brother.
Tell them. Tell them now.
But I can't. Not yet. Just a little longer in this bubble where nothing has to change.
"Remember when we tried to build that raft?" Jinx asks suddenly, grinning. "Ellie swore it would float."
He doesn’t go down memory lane often. He must know something’s up, even subconsciously. My stomach clenches.
"It did float," I protest, hoping they don’t pick up on how tight my voice sounds. "For like thirty seconds."
"Before sinking with all of us on it," Cyrus adds. "I lost my favorite glasses in that creek. Had to wear the ones with the taped rim for weeks."
"Worth it," Kade says quietly.
Yeah. They can definitely tell something’s up.
The sun dips lower, painting everything red. It looks like an apocalypse, like the entire world is coming to an end tonight.
I can't put it off anymore.
"I have to tell you guys something."
They all turn to look at me, and I want to take it back, swallow the words, pretend everything's fine for just one more hour.Fuck. One more minute, even.
"What's wrong?" Kade's voice is sharp and alert. Ready for me to point him at someone he can take apart with his fists, just like he did with that asshole who tried to snap a pic of me going up the mall escalator. My knights in torn denim and battered leather who would burn the world down for me. All of them.
“My mom's getting married,” I say, picking at the frayed seam on the sleeve of my hoodie. “To Todd.”
Silence. Even Jinx has nothing to say.
"The fuckingmayor?" Cy finally blurts out, his voice so incredulous I can't help laughing.
It comes out more like a sob.
"We're moving." I force myself to continue. "Tomorrow. To his place across town."
Silence. Even the cicadas don't seem to know what to say.
"Across town?" Cyrus's voice cracks slightly. "That's... that's not far."
I nod frantically, like I can somehow convince myself along with them. "It's not that far. Nothing is going to change."
The words feel hollow even as they leave my mouth. Kade's lighter stops clicking. I can see the wheels turning behind hiseyes, calculating distances and social barriers with the same analytical mind he uses to plan all our variably illegal escapades.
"Creekside Estates to Blue River Heights." His voice is flat, clinical. "Might as well be different fucking planets."
"Kade—"
"That's a gated community, Princess." The nickname sounds different coming from him now. Bitter. "The kind of place with security guards and homeowners’ associations that won’t even let you put a fucking flamingo in your yard. The kind of place designedspecificallyto keep trash like us out."
