Fourteen doesn't feel much different from thirteen, except everything's lonelier and weirder.
Because Kade's gone too, the absolute fucking moron.
When he realized Tank wasn't getting out—when the reality hit that his brother was going to be locked up for at least six months, maybe more—he completely lost his shit. Not in the explosive,obvious way you'd expect from someone who's been setting fires since he could hold a lighter. No, Kade's meltdown was planned.
He waited exactly three days after Tank's sentencing, then walked straight up to Reese's house at two in the afternoon when half the neighborhood could see him, doused the mailbox in lighter fluid, and set it on fire.
Didn't run. Didn't hide.
Just stood there watching it burn until the cops showed up, hands already behind his back like he was ready for the cuffs.
The judge called it "willful destruction of federal property" and "clear antisocial behavior requiring intervention."
I call it Kade being a dramatic lunatic who couldn't stand the thought of Tank being alone in there.
And I'm a complete hypocrite, because I tried to follow suit. Spent a week attempting every delinquent act I could think of. Shoplifted from the corner store (got caught, but Mr. Ronan just made me sweep his floor for an hour). Tagged the side of the abandoned warehouse (turns out no one gives a shit about graffiti on a building that's been rotting for a decade). Even tried to start a fight with Sheri Woods, but she just laughed and called me pathetic, which hurt more than any punch would have.
Turns out I'm shit at being a bad girl, even if I spend all my time around the baddest boys in school.
Also turns out even if I wasn't, it wouldn't matter. Boys and girls don't go to the same facility here. So while Tank and Kade get to have their little reunion in juvie, I'm stuck here playing mother to a bird that should've been released weeks ago.
Tap tap tap.
The familiar rhythm at my window makes my heart skip. Only one person knocks like that—three taps, pause, two taps. Jinx. Our secret code from when we were kids and thought we were spies or some shit.
I slide the window open, and Jinx's ridiculously golden hair catches the afternoon sun as he hoists himself through with practiced ease. He's gotten even taller over the summer, all long limbs and sharp features and a too-white smile. Even has a tattoo on his right bicep now. A book with the pages on fire, because he's secretly as much of a nerd as I am. It looks a hell of a lot better than Kade's stick-and-poke tats.
Not that I'm looking. Much.
"Just in time for the feeding frenzy," I say, gesturing to the bird who's already chirping for more food.
Jinx holds up a bucket that reeks of earth and fish. "Good thing Daddy brought dinner."
"Disgusting." But I'm grinning as I take the bucket from him. "Where'd you even get these?"
"The creek. That rain last night brought them all up." He flops onto my bed with the confidence of someone who belongs wherever he is, even though my mom would have a heart attack if she knew how often he's in my room. "Gotta be a responsible father, right?"
"Co-parent," I correct, selecting a particularly fat worm. "This thing's all of ours."
"Yeah, but Tank and Kade are deadbeat dads who got themselves locked up, and Cyrus only shows up when there'smedical shit to handle." He watches me feed the bird with an expression I can't quite read. "Thing's getting fat as fuck."
"It's healing," I protest, but he's right. The bird's practically doubled in size since we've had it, its feathers glossy and full where they used to be patchy and dull. "Besides, you're the one who keeps bringing him buckets of worms."
"Because you look like you're gonna cry every time its food dish is empty."
"I do not?—"
"You absolutely do." He sits up, studying the bird with a critical eye. "Wing's completely healed, huh? Cy did a good job setting it."
"Yeah." I stroke the bird's head gently, and it leans into my touch like a tiny feathered cat, eyes pinching shut. "He's probably ready to go."
"Definitely ready," Jinx says, and his voice is careful, like he's handling explosives. "Been ready for a while, actually."
"I was hoping Tank would be back first," I mumble, not meeting his eyes. "So he could see it. That what he did mattered."
Jinx's expression goes soft in that way that makes my chest hurt. "El, he doesn't even go before the board until next month. And that's just for assessment. Could be another three months after that before?—"
"Before they let him out. I know." The words taste bitter. "All because fucking Reese is too much of a pussy to take a beating like a man."
