The kiss warms me to my toes, but it’s his tenderness that nearly undoes me. “Thanks.”
“It’s okay if you’re really upset about it. You don’t have to pretend to be okay around me. You know you can cry if you need to.” His voice is soft and understanding, full of care and concern.
I tear up, not because I’m broken up about River but because Micah’s being so sweet right now, so tender toward me, like I’m something precious that needs protecting. Theshops on either side of us blur as moisture gathers in my eyes. I blink back tears as I look up at him, studying the concerned expression on his beloved face. “You’re sweet.”
He pulls me tighter to his side, his arm a comforting weight around my shoulders. “That’s right. Let it out. I won’t judge you. You know that.”
I do know that. He’s charming and a great support to me. And lately, he’s been listening to me more, really listening instead of just waiting for his turn to talk. Really caring about my writing, asking thoughtful questions about my hopes and dreams. He’s been there for me in a way he hasn’t in the past, present and engaged instead of distracted by his music or his own problems.
I don’t know why, but this realization makes me cry even more. Probably because I know what a wonderful boyfriend Micah would be if he could just see me as a woman instead of the girl down the street who he’s played with since we were little. If he could look at me the way River did, with desire and possibility instead of comfortable familiarity.
An ache forms in my chest, sharp and persistent like a bruise that won’t heal. I’m used to feeling pain when I think about how much I want Micah to love me, but this is different. This is a bone-deep sorrow because the man that I want to hold me and love me is right here beside me, his arm around me, his lips pressing gentle kisses to my hair.
But he feels nothing for me. To him, I’m just Cricket, the girl next door who’s always been there, as familiar and unremarkable as the furniture in his childhood bedroom. The gondolier’s singing grows more passionate, and the romantic mood mocks my unrequited love, highlighting everything I can’t have despite how close it seems.
CHAPTER 31
MicahBarrett
Sunday, December 6
I shifton the gondola bench, my heart in my throat. I can’t believe that jerk dumped Cricket right in front of me. What a tool. I want to punch the guy. Cricket is a person with real feelings. And here she is sitting beside me, tears running down her face.
I clench my hands into fists. It’s killing me not to be able to fix this for her. I want to wipe away her tears and tell her she’s better off without him. That she’ll find someone else. That maybe, just maybe, I could be that person for her.
I want to tell her how I feel about her… but I can’t. She’s hurting right now. It would be totally inappropriate for me to confess my feelings to her. I don’t want to be her rebound. Besides, what if it ruins things between us? If she doesn’t feel the same way, I run the risk of totally messing up our friendship.
The gondolier slows, and I can tell the ride is almostdone. Cricket quickly wipes at her face, and I slide her glasses off so I can clean them. By the time I get them back on her face, her tears are gone. She gives me a shy smile. “Thanks for being there for me.”
The gondolier helps us off the boat, and I put my arm around her as we walk past all the shops toward the entrance. It feels natural to walk with her tucked into my side. She fits there perfectly.
We walk back to the hotel and get our luggage then grab an Uber to the airport. I worry that things will now be awkward with River on the plane, but when we board, he’s already sitting next to Kiera near the front. They look comfortable together, heads bent close as they chat about something on Kiera’s phone. He smiles at us, and for a second, I swear he winks at Cricket, but when I take another look at him, he’s focused on Kiera, and I figure I must have been mistaken.
We walk to the back of the plane, and Cricket sits next to the window, her fingers already gripping the armrest. I sit beside her and take her hand in mine, weaving our fingers together. I squeeze it, just so she knows I’m there for her. That no matter what, she’s got me beside her.
Skyler boards the plane and breaks away from Kiki, running back to us with her little backpack bouncing against her shoulders. Her pigtails are slightly lopsided from the busy morning, and there’s a chocolate stain on her shirt that Kiki probably hasn’t noticed yet. “Can I sit with you guys? Kiki—I mean Mom—said it was okay.”
I smile at her and nod. “Sure, go ahead.”
She makes herself comfortable in one of the plush leather seats on the other side of the polished wood table. Kiki and Tobias settle into the chairs across the aisle from us. Tobias pulls out his phone to check work emails while Kiki digs through her purse for hand sanitizer. After clicking her seatbelt, Skyler takes a coloring book out of her backpack, the pages already wrinkled and well-loved. “Mom says if I’m good, I can have M&M’s.”
Cricket rubs her hands together, her face brightening. “Chocolate is the best.”
Skyler pulls out a purple crayon and starts coloring what looks like a unicorn. “I can share with you guys.”
I give her a thumbs up. “Thanks, Little Pup.”
After coloring for a bit, her tongue poking out in concentration, Skyler stops and looks up at me with those large blue eyes that always melt my heart. “Why did Uncle Levi get married?”
“Because he fell in love with Claire.”
She nods seriously, like she understands the weight of that decision. “Are you going to get married, Uncle Micah?”
I chuckle, my chest tightening slightly. “Someday I will.”
“Is Uncle Noah going to get married?”
I glance toward the front of the cabin where Noah is sharing earbuds with Savannah, their heads close together. She’s laughing at something on his tablet, her hand resting comfortably on his arm. “Definitely.”
