“They were pulling Noah out of school for some book signing. He got to miss a whole day, and I had to stay and go to school. I was so angry about it. I thought it was unfair. So when Mom came to kiss me goodbye that morning, I jerked away from her and said it.” His voice cracks slightly, and tears pool in his eyes. “I said I hated her because she loved Noah more than me.”
I reach up and place my hand on his cheek without thinking. “You were just a kid. You were upset.”
“I was old enough to know better.” He closes his eyes and lets the tears fall, snuggling into my hand.
Electricity flows into me. I catch a tear with my thumb, wiping it off his face. “Micah?—”
“And then they were gone, and I could never take it back. I could never tell her I didn’t mean it.”
We’re at the top now, the highest point of the wheel, and the view is spectacular, but I can’t look away from Micah’s face. “You know she knew you didn’t mean it, right? Mothers always know.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t understand. I was throwing a stupid temper tantrum. I acted like such a baby.”
“That’s what seven-year-olds do,” I say softly. “That’s normal.”
“But…” His voice is barely above a whisper now. “What if she died thinking I actually hated her?”
I cup his face with both hands. I want to take away this pain. I want it so bad it hurts. “Micah Barrett, look at me.”
He meets my eyes reluctantly.
“Your mom knew you loved her. She knew because of all the other times you showed her, all the other things you said and did. One moment of seven-year-old anger doesn’t erase all the good times. You were her son. Her baby. She loved you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.” My fingers graze his skin. “Because I know you. I’ve known you for years, and you are the most loyal, protective, loving person I’ve ever met. You take care of everyone around you, sometimes to your own detriment.”
He’s quiet, staring out at the lights of Vegas spread below us.
“And another thing,” I continue, my voice gaining strength. “You getting mad about having to go to school doesn’t define your entire relationship with her. You wereher son. She carried you, fed you, rocked you to sleep. Do you really think one argument would make her forget all of that?”
He swallows, and more tears flow. “I’ve been carrying around this guilt. It’s been eating at me.”
I wipe away his tears. “It’s time to let it go. Your mom wouldn’t want you torturing yourself like this.”
Something shifts in his expression. “How do you always know exactly what to say?”
My lips move to tell him it’s because I love him. Because I’ve loved him for so long I feel like he’s a part of me. But I don’t. I can’t. Instead, I choke out, “Because we’ve been best friends forever.”
He pulls me into an embrace, and I bury my face in his jacket. I close my eyes and pretend he’s hugging me because he feels things for me. That he loves me and can’t live without me. But it’s all a lie, and the pain stabs deep into my chest.
We’re starting to descend now, but neither of us moves away from the window or from each other.
“Thank you,” Micah says, and his voice is rough with emotion. “I’ve never… I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even my brothers.”
My heart swells, and I blink back my own tears. “Thank you for trusting me with it.”
He pulls back and looks at me then, really looks at me, and there’s something different in his expression. Something I’ve never seen before, and I wonder if maybe, finally, he’s starting to see me as more than just a friend.
“Cricket?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for always being there for me.”
I feel my cheeks heat up again, but I don’t look away. “Of course.”
The wheel continues its slow descent, and the lights of the Strip grow brighter and closer.
