We finished dessert.I’m in the bathroom.The tiramisu was incredible. I told River we need to try the gelato place down the street next time.
She said next time. This date must be going really well.
Sounds fun.
I wait for her to respond, but she doesn’t. She’s probably too busy getting lost in his perfect blue eyes to text me back.
I look down at my notebook, at the few pathetic lines I’ve managed to write, and I know what the song is really about. It’s not about some random girl. It’s about watching someone you care about fall for someone who might take them away from you. It’s about realizing you might lose the most importantperson in your world and not understanding why that thought terrifies you so much.
I start writing, the words flowing faster now.
She’s slipping awayand I don’t know why
All I know is I can’t say goodbye
To the way she makes everything right
When she’s here by my side?—
I stop, staring at what I’ve written. These aren’t just song lyrics. They’re… they’re how I actually feel.
About Cricket.
Not that I want her for myself. It’s not like that, even though the lyrics kind of imply that. We’re just friends. I look at the lyrics again, confusion making my head hurt.
The lyrics are too intimate. This song can’t be about Cricket after all. Which is good. Because no one would understand my true feelings for her.
Speaking of which, she should have come home by now. I glance at the clock. It doesn’t take that long to eat dessert.
I pick up my phone again without thinking. Before I know it, I’m texting Cricket again.
Are you still at the restaurant?
I wait for her to text back, but no text comes. I imagine they’re too busy talking for her to even notice my text, and my insides turn to stone. I don’t want Cricket to fall for River. I don’t want her to start spending all her time with him.
I’m afraid of losing her. As a friend.
CHAPTER 11
Cricket Jenkins
Tuesday, November 24
River walksme to my door, and my heart beats loud in my ears. I’m new to dating, but I know what happens when your date brings you to your door. I swallow my nerves, unsure of what I’ll do if River tries to kiss me.
I haven’t kissed anyone before. Well, my parents, but that doesn’t count. I haven’t kissed aguy.And I had kind of hoped my first kiss would be with Micah. Dreamed about it is more like it. And if I kiss River, that totally blows it for me.
River stops and turns to me. My spit dries up as he gazes into my eyes. He smiles. He is so good-looking. I should be happier about being on the doorstep with him, but my insides twist and I can’t smile back.
“I had fun tonight,” he says, his voice low and whispery.
I nod a little too enthusiastically. “Me too.”
One eyebrow raises. “I have my audition tomorrow. If it goes well, do you want to go out and celebrate with me?”
Do I? Of course I do. I like River. I repeat it in my head as I nod. “Sure.”
River leans a little closer to me, and my heart stops. Is he going to kiss me? I’m not ready. Should I start coughing? Fake a period cramp? Lose a contact? What am I thinking? I wear glasses.
