He nods, but I can see the panic still swimming in his eyes. “Cricket, I… I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Talk to me.”
He pulls a hand away and runs it through his hair, making it stick up in different directions. “This is all happening so fast. Yesterday, I was just some guy making YouTube videos in his bedroom, and now…” He gestures toward my laptop screen. “Now Sterling Records wants to sign me? And Apex Entertainment? These are huge companies, Cricket. They have billion-dollar artists.”
“And they want you,” I say, squeezing his hand. “That should tell you something about how talented you are.”
“Or how much money they think they can make off me.” I hear the fear underneath his statement.
I turn to face him fully. “Micah, talk to me. What’s really scaring you?”
He’s quiet for a long moment, staring down at our joined hands. When he finally speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper.
“What if I sign with one of these labels and they try to change everything about me? What if they want me to write different music or perform in ways that make me uncomfortable? What if they want me to do interviews and red-carpet events and…” He swallows hard. “What if they want me to show my face?”
I hate to break it to him. His face is already all over the internet. But my heart aches for him. I can see how terrified he is, how the weight of these possibilities is crushing him.
“And what if I’m not good enough?” he continues, his voice breaking slightly. “What if I sign this big contract and then I can’t deliver? What if I freeze up in a recording studio with all those people watching me? What if?—”
“Hey.” I reach up and cup his face with my free hand, forcing him to look at me. “Stop. You’re spiraling.”
Tears are starting to form in his eyes, and it breaks my heart. “I don’t know how to be famous, Cricket. I don’t know how to be around all those industry people. I can barely handle a crowd of fans on my front lawn without having a panic attack.”
“You won’t be alone,” I say firmly. “I’ll be there with you. Every step of the way.”
He shakes his head. “You’re busy with college. And now you’re dating River Stone, so you’ll probably?—”
“Micah, stop.” Understanding dawns on me. “Is that what this is really about? You think I’m going to abandon you?”
He looks away, but I can see the answer in his face. My insides turn to jelly. He needs me. He wants me with him.Not in the way I’ve always wanted, but at least he’s not shoving me away.
“Look at me,” I say gently. When he does, I make sure my voice is clear and certain. “I am not going anywhere. Do you hear me? If you sign with a major label, I will be right there beside you as your manager. If you need me to go to online school to make that work, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“You can’t do that,” he protests. “You love college. You love your dorm roommates and campus and?—”
“I love you more,” I say without thinking then quickly clarify as my face heats to a million degrees, “I mean, I care about you more. You’re my best friend, Micah. This is your dream. I’ve watched you work toward this for years, and I’m not going to let you face it alone.”
He stares at me, and I can see him processing what I’m saying.
“Besides,” I continue, “I think you should seriously consider online classes too. You’re so smart, Micah. You could easily handle college coursework while pursuing your music career. A lot of musicians do both. Having that education will only make you more well-rounded as an artist.”
“I already quit college,” he reminds me quietly.
“So you take some time to get your music career established then reenroll online. Or do both at the same time if you want. The point is, you don’t have to choose between being smart and being a musician. You can be both.”
He’s quiet for a moment, considering this. “You really think I could handle both?”
“I know you could. You’re one of the smartest people I know. And with me handling the business side of things, you’d have more time to focus on what matters—your music and your studies.”
“And you’d really switch to online school for me?”
The vulnerability in his voice makes my chest tight. “In aheartbeat. Micah, look at me.” I wait until his eyes meet mine again. “You are going to be something incredible. I’ve known it since the first time I heard you sing. These record labels see it too. That’s why they’re all fighting for you.”
“But what if I mess it up?”
“Then we’ll figure it out together. That’s what managers do, right? We protect our artists. We make sure they don’t get taken advantage of. We help them make the right decisions.” I smile at him. “And I happen to be very good at research, and I can learn negotiation. I’ve been preparing for this.”
A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “You have?”
