Something passes across Petyr’s face. A quick, fleeting emotion I can’t name.
“You ran once.” His voice hardens. “You risked everything. I won’t let you do it again.”
“I risked everything because you told me we were nothing.” I’m drained now, not a crumb of fight left in me. “You treated me like a pawn. What else was I supposed to do?” My eyes turn pleading. “Tell me that, Petyr. Because at this point, I just don’t know what you wanted from me.”
He steps closer. Like this, we’re almost touching. “You were supposed tostay,” he growls. “You were supposed to trust me.”
“I did trust you,” I whisper. “I trusted you when you told me you’d been using me. That’s why I ran. But if by ‘trust,’ you mean ‘obey’, then sure, be mad all you want. Because that’s the one thing I didn’t do, and clearly, it was the only thing you ever wanted from me.”
Petyr’s eyes fill with something. I have no idea what it is. All I know is that, for a single moment, he looks like himself again. Like he used to be.
Then that spark flickers out, too.
“If you’re bored, I’ll have Anya bring more books.”
My arms drop. Disbelief comes rushing in. But louder than that is the disappointment that I let myself believe in him again, even for just one second. “Books? That’s your answer?”
“You said mine were boring. I’ll get you some new ones.”
“I’m lonely, Petyr.” I sound so pathetic, but fuck me, it’s the truth. I don’t have the strength to lie. “I talk to the walls more than I talk to people. More than I talk toyou.”
Petyr’s nostrils flare. “Then I’ll tell Anya to talk with you,” he says. “I’ll give her topics if I have to.”
“Do you even hear yourself right now?” A small, brittle laugh slips out of me. But there’s no joy in it, not even close. “You think that’s going to make this better? Forced conversations with the keeper of the crypt?”
“It’s better than you wandering into danger.”
He sounds so cold. Has he always sounded this cold? I can’t remember.
“It’s not better,” I murmur. “It’s nothing. You’re giving me scraps and pretending they’re enough. But I’m not the stupid little girl you met anymore. I won’t wag my tail for the bare minimum.” I raise my gaze. “So just tell me what will it take for you to let me out of here, and I’ll do it.”
He falls silent and stares at me.
I know what he’s thinking. I can tell because I’m thinking it, too.
Without another word, my hands go to the buttons of my blouse. I start undoing them one by one. My fingers shake, but I force myself to go through the motions.
Suddenly, a hand lands on mine.
“Stop. That’s not what I want.”
Liar.I can read it on his face—how badly he still wants me. But I guess there’s no point if I’m already pregnant, right?
“Right,” I mutter. “Shouldn’t waste good sperm on a pregnant prisoner.”
“That’s not?—”
“Then tell me!” My eyes fill with tears. “Please. I’m going crazy here. Just tell me what you want from me.”
Petyr doesn’t say anything. His hand on mine is the only gentle point of contact we’ve had since we met again.
“You’ll be here until I know you won’t betray me.”
“That means forever.”
“It doesn’t.”
“Yes, it does.”
