He twists the fabric of his sleeve between his fingers. A nervous habit of his. He’s always done this, even as a kid. The sight takes me back. Makes this hurt all the more. “We didn’t want to until we were sure that…”
“That I wouldn’t get lit up by a car bomb?”
“That you were safe.” He grits his teeth. “From him.”
Finally, I look him in the eye. “Is that what you think is happening? That Petyr is keeping me prisoner?”
“Of course.” He blinks. “Why else would you?—?”
“Because I love him.”
Maksim’s face freezes. For a second, he seems to forget how words work. “W-what?”
“I love him.” I stand up, walk to him. “I love Petyr, Maks. I’ve been in love with him since we met. And yeah, it started out rocky, but we worked through that. We built something.” My eyes fill with tears. “We made a daughter. A beautiful baby girl. Your niece.”
Maks’s eyes are wide now. “What are you saying, Sima?”
“I’m saying that whatever lie Dad fed you is just that: a lie.” I reach out and grab his hands. “I’m in love, Maks. I’m a wife, a mother. And not just that. I’m taking business classes at NYU. I’m a wedding planner.”
Maksim huffs out a disbelieving laugh. “A wedding planner? You?”
“Yeah.” I find myself smiling back. “I know, it’s insane. But that’s just how life is. A crazy, unpredictable whirlwind of things you never knew about yourself.”
His throat works. “Sima?—”
“I love Petyr Gubarev,” I repeat. “He’s my husband. He’s the father of my daughter. And I will never, ever betray him.” My heart clenches. “Because he’s the thing I never knew about myself. And now that I know it, I can’t live without it. I don’t want to.” I squeeze his hands. “Please, don’t make me.”
Maksim stares at me for a long moment. I try to read his gaze, but I can’t. He’s more guarded than I’ve ever seen him. Even downstairs, I could tell what he was thinking, but now it’s a mystery.
And yet, I don’t regret what I said. After a life spent in lies, it feels good to tell the truth.
Even if it might be the last thing I ever do.
I think about Lilia. My little girl. I might never get to see her grow up after this. The idea is unbearable, but I force myself to power through. To bear it, even if it’s too painful.
I guess that’s what we do for our kids. The unthinkable.
She might hate me one day for how I chose to play this. But I’ve been raised by a broken woman, and there’s only one thing I’ve ever wanted to give my own daughter.
A true mother. One who stands up for herself and her family. A mother she can look up to.
I won’t let her down now.
Eventually, Maksim clears his throat again. “Stay here.” His gaze darts away from me. “Don’t talk back. Dad won’t like it.”
“Yeah.” I feel the swell on my cheek from where he slapped me. “I got that.”
His jaw flexes. Anger flashes in his eyes again, but only for a moment. “Don’t try anything, Sima. I mean it. Whatever he asks you to do, do it.”
“I won’t.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I smile, a little brittle. “I’m done living a lie.”
His fists clench, but he doesn’t do anything to me. I don’t think for a second that he will. Maksim was always different from the others, less twisted by our father’s influence.
But maybe he’s not so different after all.
