But I know better than to follow old patterns now. My programming almost cost me everything twice.
I’m not going to let that happen again.
“We should talk,” I say. “Somewhere private.”
Sima frowns. “Did something happen?”
“No.”
Her confusion is plain on her face, but she puts away her empty glass and straightens. “What’s on your mind?”
“Not here.” I nod toward the foyer. “Upstairs.”
Something passes over her face, but she nods. “Okay.”
We head to the bedroom in silence. I shut the door behind us. Sima waits by the bed, her arms folded around herself. I can tell she’s already bracing herself.
I take a breath. It’s not going to be an easy conversation, I know that. But I can’t afford to fuck this up again.
This time, I’ll say the right things. The truth.
Because I owe it to her.
“Tell me something,” I say. “Why did you run from me?”
She looks up, startled. “Why are you asking me about that now?”
“Because I need to hear it,” I tell her. “I need to understand.”
It’s the truth. Sima explained it to me, but every time we’ve broached the subject, emotions were running high. She was exhausted, frayed at the edges by everything I put her through, and I can’t fucking blame her.
I thought I got it. That I knew what set it off. But if Kira’s words are getting to me now, even though everything is different, it means I didn’t get it at all.
Otherwise, I’ll always be waiting for her to bolt again. And then I’ll tighten the leash, put locks on the doors, make the same mistakes all over again. Our vicious cycle will never end.
Tonight, I want to break it for good.
Sima exhales. Her fingers pick at the duvet as she searches for the words. I can see her fighting the instinct to shut down. The same one that made her run in the first place.
“Because I was afraid,” she admits eventually. “Afraid you’d hand me over to my father. That you’d take my child away and use her to control me, like you said you would.” Her voice trembles, but she doesn’t look away. Instead, she faces me. Looks me straight in the eye. “I didn’t trust you. Not then.”
I stare at her, jaw tight. Her honesty cuts deeper than I expected, but I asked for this. I have to be man enough to take it.
“Would you do it again?” I ask. It’s the one question that really matters.
She shakes her head. “No. Of course not.”
“Because you trust me?”
She takes a moment before answering. “Because I know you better. I know who you are when you’re not trying to prove something. When you yelled at me at the penthouse, you weren’t being yourself, but I had no idea.” She offers a small smile and reaches for my hand. “Now, I do.”
I squeeze back. Her eyes glisten in the low light. “I didn’t mean for this,” I say. “But I haven’t been honest in the past, and I didn’t want to do that again. Not to you.”
She breathes in deeply. “Thank you. That means more than you can know.”
“Sima.” I search her gaze. “I want you to be honest, too. Not just when I push. If there’s anything you want to tell me, you should feel comfortable doing it at any time. No matter what.”
She nods slowly, takes it in.
