“I’m sure you had those crank windows, right?” Hannah asks, adding fuel to the fire. “You’d have to manually roll the windows down, Liv. And if it started to rain, you’d have to roll them right back up.”
“I was born in this century. Let’s go to that light post at the other end of the parking lot, Livvy. If you could keep your speed under five miles an hour, that would be great.”
“Floor it, Liv,” Hannah says, and my daughter giggles.
“This is good practice. I have someone trying to peer pressure me and someone who is being a back seat driver from the front seat.” Her hands stay at ten and two on the wheel, and we lurch toward our checkpoint. “Wait. If I want to stop do I just?—”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” I fly forward when she slams on the brakes, my seat belt locking in place. “Congratulations, kid. You found the brakes.”
“I should probably buckle up. We’ve got a speed demon out here.” Hannah bursts out laughing when Liv smashes the accelerator and I fly back against the seat. “I wish I had this on camera.”
“Gentle, Liv. And go slow, please. Wait. Why are you turning? The light is up ahead, not to the left.”
“Just getting a feel for the wheel,” Liv says, but it’s anything but innocent. “I bet this car can go fast, can’t it? What kind of car does your brother have, Hannah?”
“A Range Rover. I drive a Hyundai, but that’s because anything more advanced confuses the hell out of me. Like, this thing has heatedandcooling seats? You’re fancy as hell, Saunders.”
“I want my ass to be warm in the winter and cool in the summer.” I glance at Liv, who looks carefree as can be. “Two hands on the wheel, please.”
“This is so easy. Uh oh, Dad. Look out. There’s a soda can in sight. How should I avoid it?”
“Smart-ass. Everyone in this car is a smart-ass.” I fold my arms over my chest, miming that I’m keeping my mouth closed. “You’re on your own, kid.”
And, of fucking course, the less I talk, the better Liv does. She uses her blinker and completes a full circle turn. She puts the car in reverse, neutral, then back to drive, taking her time to accelerate through the gear shifts. I start to breathe easier, folding my hands in my lap instead of trying to secretly reach for the door handle in case I need to make an escape.
“This wassoworth skipping one of our skating lessons, Hannah.” Liv rolls to a stop and puts the car in park, clapping loudly. “What do you think, Dad? Did I pass?”
“Not hitting that pigeon earned you extra points,” I say. “For day one, you did well.”
“A miracle, because I’ve been listening to you yell about shitty drivers foryears.” Liv smiles and drums her fingers on the center console. “Can I drive home?”
“And break the law under my nose? No. You can sit in the back seat so Hannah can stretch her legs in the front.”
“Oh, don’t worry about me. It’s like a movie theater back here.” Hannah puts her hands on the armrests, leaning between us. “Are you excited to spend New Year’s Eve with your mom, Liv?”
“Yeah! We’re doing a spa night with manis and pedis and watching romcoms. I’m going to do my nails pink to match my new skating laces.” Liv unbuckles her seat belt and retracts the seat from the steering wheel. “Are you going to any parties, Hannah?”
“No parties for me. It’s funny. When I was your age, I couldn’twaitto grow up so I could do all this fun stuff like stay up past the ball drop and drink champagne in a sparkly dress. Now that I’m older, I’m happy with being on the couch and making a list of all the things I want to work on in the new year.”Hannah smiles, and I listen to every word. “Do you want to know what my top two focuses are?”
“Yes.” Liv spins to look at her, eyes wide. “I bet they’re good.”
“I want to prioritize my patience. Your dad has been so kind to spend time with me on the ice, and every day we’re out there together, I see myself making improvements. But I also know there is joy in going slow, and I’m having so much fun doing drills I would’ve written off six months ago.”
“That’s a really good one. What’s your other focus?” Liv asks, and I see the spark of wonder in her eye. I can tell how much she looks up to Hannah, how much she values her opinion, and it says so much about her character that she’s here, with us, when she could be anywhere else.
“I want to say yes more. To things that scare me—like the competition I officially entered in March.” Pride practically bursts from her with the admission, and Liv squeals. “To things I wouldn’t normally try—like coaching you, Liv. Think of all the fun I would have missed out on if I didn’t give this a shot.” Hannah gives her a high-five, and the strangest sensation settles over me as I watch her interact with my daughter. Peace, almost, and knowing Liv is in the best fucking hands. “I can’t wait to see where that takes me.”
“I’m going to focus on not comparing myself to other people,” Liv announces. “A girl who is younger than me already nailed her double Axel? That’s fine. Mine will happen when it’s meant to happen. My friend at school has a boyfriend and I don’t? No big deal. Boys my age aregross.”
“That’s my girl,” Hannah says. “Brody? What are you going to focus on in the new year?”
I stall before I answer. I could go the coaching route: focusing on getting my guys to play better. More attention to detail when it comes to what’s happening on the ice. But these two aresharing important things with me. It doesn’t seem fair to take the easy road.
“My daughter lovingly tells me I need to lighten up,” I say, and Liv rolls her eyes. “I think I’d like to focus on having more fun.” My gaze meets Hannah’s in the mirror. She’s watching me, listening to me, and it makes me feel like a million bucks. “With people who know how to have a good time.”
“That’s a good focus,” Hannah answers. “Any idea how you’re going to do that?”
My smile is easy, slow. “I have a few ideas.”
