“You’re pacing,” she says. “Which means you’re panicking.”
“It’s going to be okay, baby.” I hold my hand. He takes it, threading our fingers together and kissing my knuckles. “Why are you panicking?”
“Liv’s competed in events before, but this is the most important one of her life. I want her to do well.” Brody sighs and finally sits next to me on the metal bench, tapping his foot. “I don’t want her to get hurt or be disappointed in herself if something goes wrong.”
“And if everything goes right?” I say, stealing his line and throwing it back to him. When he steals a glance at me, I smile. “What? You know I’m always going to be the optimist when you’re being a pessimist.”
“You’re right. I know I can’t always be there to catch her if she falls, but I really don’t want her to fall.”
“She’s going to do great, Brody. And after, fall or no fall, we’ll go get milkshakes. We’ll go back to your condo, and life will go on.” I see Liv waiting with a group of girls on the other side of the rink. Pride almost bursts from my chest with how excited she looks. “I’m proud of how far she’s come.”
“Still remember the first time I ever brought her on the ice.” He drapes an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. “I was an assistant coach in Chicago. We had the Winter Classic at Wrigley Field, and after the game, I put Liv in these tiny skates. She was so fucking small.” He laughs and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Can’t believe how much she’s grown.”
“She was so small, yet I had to yell at you because you were zipping around the rink with her like you didn’t have a care in the world,” Kali says. “That was precious cargo you were holding, and you were spinning like crazy.”
“Okay, I did one spin, Kal. Nothing that brought harm to any parties.” Brody sits up. “Is it her turn?”
“Yeah.” I pat his thigh when Liv files onto the ice. She takes a minute to gather herself, dipping her chin to her chest and closing her eyes. I hope she’s repeating the mantra I taught her. I hope the ribbon I tied in her hair earlier brings her luck, and I’m more nervous for her program than I’ve ever been for anything I’ve performed. “Think you’re going to be able to get through this?”
“I need your hand,” he mumbles. “So I don’t start to panic.”
“I’m right here,” I say. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank fuck for that.” He takes my hand again and lets out a long sigh. “I love you so much, Hannah.”
The offseason has been good to us, and with Liv out of school, he three of us have spent the summer making memories. We’ve visited the almost all the Smithsonian museums and hadpicnics on the Mall. There was the trip to the Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens to see the water lilies in bloom and paddleboarding in the tidal basin. Bowling nights, movie nights, days where Liv and I hang out without Brody around, everything feelsright.
And Brody?
He spends every minute of every day making sure I know how valued I am. He showed me where my keychain wall can go if and when I decide I’m ready to move in with him. We skate together every day, lap after lap around the rink where we talk about everything on our minds. He and Grant are getting along, and they scheduled to get dinner together tomorrow night.
“I love you too,” I say, squealing as Liv’s music begins. I pat Brody’s knee. “Here we go.”
I know Liv’s program like the back of my hand, all six of the intermediate elements things we’ve practiced together for months on end. She starts off with a beautiful double axel, and she holds her camel spin perfectly with an outside edge. Her Salchow and toe loop jump combination go well, but the lift off from her flip jump is shaky. Brody stiffens beside me, but Liv cleans up the landing, and moves on to her spin combination. She goes for a bonus with triple toe loop, and I jump to my feet when the music ends.
“That was good, right?” Brody asks, clapping. “I’m still trying to figure out how to look for small errors.”
“It was very good. She did all of her planned elements, and her presentation was beautiful. No time violation, and I didn’t see anything else that could get her a deduction. She’s in the group B, which is definitely the more advanced group of girls.” I crane my neck, waiting to see what the judges score her. “Oh mygod. She got a 34.58!”
“I don’t know what that means, Hannah.”
“Sorry, sorry! I need to teach you the breakdown of how programs are scored—there are so many components—but I think it’s going to put her as the second skater in her category!”
“Second?Second? Out of, what? Fifty girls? That’s fucking amazing,” Brody says. He wipes his cheek and turns his back to the rink as Liv hops off the ice. “Sorry. Something in my eye.”
“Emotional,” Kali whispers to me, and I hold back my laughter. “Always is when Liv is involved.”
“You are such a good dad,” I say, kissing his shoulder. “She should be over here in just a—Liv. My girl. You were wonderful out there.” I squeal and wrap my arms around her in a hug. “How are you feeling?”
“That was so scary.” She laughs and hugs me back. “I thought I was about to bust my ass with that flip jump. Aflip jump! One of the most boring moves out there.”
“You recovered the landing perfectly! No falls. No deductions. What do you think about your double Axel?” I ask, vibrating with excited energy for her. “I’m being so obnoxious. I’m going to shut up.”
“What?!” Liv gives me a gentle shove. “Don’t you ever shut up. You’re the reason I got here. You’re the first coach who has ever made me feel like I could do the things I hadn’t learned yet, and I’m so grateful for you.” Her eyes move to her parents, and she smiles. “Hi, mama.Dad? Are youcrying?”
“No,” Brody says firmly, but he sniffs. “Allergies. A fly. Don’t make fun of me, kid.”
“I love you too, Dad.” Liv smiles. “What are we getting to eat?”
