“That’s true.” I roll my lips together. I can’t believe I walked away from Hannah like that. I’ll never forgive myself. “We’re going to get through this.”
“Are we?” Grant stands. He paces, hands in his pockets. “What’s the point in playing when he’s not part of the team? I’m never going to be able to look at this championship without thinking about tonight. About Riley.”
“I don’t have the answer to that.” I avoid looking at him. All I see isher. “Hockey has been there for me in my darkest moments, and sometimes, we’re not playing for ourselves. We’re playing for those who can’t. But I’ll tell you the thing Idoknow: you’re not in this alone.”
“I’m not?”
I finally let myself look at him, but I wish I hadn’t. He’s as distraught as I feel.
“No,” I say. “I’m here. Your brothers are here. We’re going to figure out the next steps together.”
“Do you promise?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I nod. Maybe I’ll start to believe it. “I promise.”
SIX
HANNAH
Sixteen months later
“That was weak,Hannah. Your posture is collapsing.” Justine, my coach, gives me a pointed look from across the ice, and I acknowledge it with a sharp nod. “Engage your core and fix it.”
“Got it,” I say, bending to tighten the laces on my right skate. It’s easier than being the focus of her displeasure. “The next one will be better.”
“Hey.” Tierney Paige skates up to me. My best friend tosses one of her box braids over her shoulder and puts a hand on her hip. “You normally land that part of your program perfectly.”
“Not today.” I roll my shoulders back. Anxiety sits in the pit of my stomach. I take a deep breath, but it feels like I’m swallowing knives. “My entry sucks this afternoon.”
“Want me to take a look and give you a different perspective?”
“And interrupt your day? Nope.”
“It’s not interrupting when I want to help. Do it again.” Tierney gestures at my spot on the ice. “Let’s see if we can figure out what’s throwing you off.”
I fight back a smile. She’s invested now, and her persistence is one of my favorite things about her. “Fine, but only if you don’t make fun of my weak core.”
“Says the girl whose skating resume includes a gold medal at the World Championships and two silvers at the U.S. Championships.”
“That was years ago. I haven’t medaled since.”
“We both know a weak core is the last thing you have.” She snaps. “Do an upright spin, please.”
I don’t want to give all my attention to move that feels impossible, but she’s giving up her time to help me get my shit together. It would be stupid to not take advantage of it, and I give her a nod.
I begin the program at the top, nailing all of the early elements. My double Axel is perfect, and my triple Lutz is even better. I push into my layback, the upright spin I prefer the most, but my right ankle wobbles. I lose control of my edge, and I can’t stop myself from collapsing on the ice.
A little girl in a pink tutu and pigtails passes me, wrinkling her nose when she sees me on my ass with a knee that’s not nearly as bruised as my ego.
“Well. This is a new level of embarrassing.” I blink up at the fluorescent lights above me. “That’s one of the first technical components I ever mastered, which means I’m falling apart.”
“You’re not falling apart.” Tierney offers me a hand and I take it, letting her pull me up. “The good news is it’s an easy fix. Your calf isn’t parallel to the ice and your knee is angled when it shouldn’t be.”
“I’m in my head.” I fix the pink ribbon tied in my hair and hook my thumb over my shoulder. “Which means I need to tap out early. The last thing I want is a broken bone.”
“Want to grab lunch and get your mind off things?”
“Please, but we should hurry. Coach is shooting daggers at me, and I don’t like being on the receiving end of her anger.”
