Callie bounced up and down in the high chair as Cullen set a jar of peas and a jar of applesauce on the table.
“Can I be honest with you, Rose?” His dark eyes flicked to mine for a second before he focused his attention on feeding his daughter.
“Of course.”
“I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.” His hand shook as he lifted the spoon to Callie’s mouth.
My heart cartwheeled through my chest. “What do you mean? I bet Ruby has some suggestions. Or there are agencies who can place a nanny.”
“It’s not just that. Don’t you think Callie deserves a real family? I don’t even know how to be a dad, much less a mom too.”
The spoon in his hand clinked against the side of the ceramic bowl he was using, and my stomach flipped. It was almost the same sound one of my foster dads used to make when he tapped his fork against a glass to make me look his way.
Cullen shook his head. “Maybe she’d be better off?—”
“No.” The word came out too loud, too sharp. I pushed back from the table, my appetite gone. A cold sweat prickled the back of my neck. “All she needs is someone she can trust. Someone who can put her best interests first. Someone who can love her unconditionally and protect her.”
Cullen stared at me, his brow furrowed. “Are you okay?”
“Sorry. I’m not feeling well. Do you care if I go lie down for a little bit?” My phone buzzed again on the counter.
Mom: Where are you?
I slid it under my sweater like that could shut her out.
“Do you need anything?” he asked.
“No. I’ll be okay.” I was overreacting, my thoughts spinning out of control. There was no guarantee that what happened to me would happen to Callie. If Cullen decided he couldn’t take care of her, he’d do his best to find her a good home. But I knew better than most that there were a lot of things that could go on underneath the surface in even the most wholesome-looking household.
This wasn’t my responsibility, not my problem. But still, I couldn’t let it go. Even worse, I couldn’t forget the press of his shoulder at the window or the scrape of his knuckles against mine. I wanted the steadiness of that touch. And I hated that I did.
CHAPTER 5
CULLEN
When I finally got Callie to sleep, it was after nine. She’d been fussy tonight. Probably teething based on the research I’d done online. I cleaned up the mess from dinner and decided to skip sweeping the floor. Thanks to Ozzy, there wasn’t much there. He was like a built-in vacuum cleaner. So far he hadn’t seemed to mind trading unlimited snacks for our usual morning run. Since Callie had moved in, I’d lost total control of my schedule. At least I could usually fit in a workout or two while I was working a shift at the station.
I was about to kick back on the couch and catch the last quarter of the Griz game, but figured I’d check on Rose instead. She’d surprised me when she got up from the table and walked out on dinner. I didn’t handle emotions well, not mine or anyone else’s. I owed it to her to make sure she was okay, though. She was the only reason I hadn’t already given up on the idea of being a father.
“Rose?” I knocked softly on the bedroom door.
Her voice came through, small and quiet. “What?”
“Can I come in?”
She didn’t answer, but a few seconds later, the door opened. The room was dark behind her and she faced me, the top of her head not even reaching my chin. “Is it Callie?”
“No.” That would have been a logical reason to knock on her door. I stood there, my shoulder braced against the doorframe, not really sure why I’d felt the need to check on her. “I just…”
“I’m sorry for being weird at dinner.” She stepped back and sat on the bed. “I know Callie’s not automatically going to be dealt the same raw hand that I was. She’s got a better chance of finding a good family since she’s still a baby, but you can’t assume someone’s going to be a good parent just by looking at them on paper.”
Fuck. I didn’t know anything about Rose beyond what Ruby had told me… that she’d been passing through Mustang Mountain when her truck broke down. She’d shown up on time for her shifts at the Merc and nothing popped up when Ruby did a background check. Other than that, I didn’t know where she’d grown up, what kind of family she had, or if she was heading toward something or more interested in leaving something behind.
She was good with Callie and she’d come through for me when I needed a hand. That’s what mattered. And if she was hurting, I owed it to her to try to make it better. At least, it seemed like that’s how things should work. Hell, I didn’t know.
“Can I sit down?” I motioned to a spot by the footboard. At her nod, I sat down on the edge of the bed, being sure to give her a lot of space. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” She half laughed, half sighed. “I guess tonight it just hit me that there’s nothing permanent about this whole situation. I don’t mean me. I already told you I’m not sticking around.”
