“Why don’t we take a break for lunch then we’ll cool off in the creek after?” Delaney said. “Eli, can you grab the wagon and pass out everyone’s lunch bags?”
I hung back while the kids retrieved their lunches and found a place to sit. My attention was still focused on Wren. She hadn’t moved from the spot where Delaney had lifted that rock. It was like she’d disappeared into another world where I couldn’t reach her. She was so focused on drawing that she didn’t even budge when Delaney crouched down next to her.
Wren never showed her sketches to anyone, but she smiled as Delaney pointed to the page. The two of them stayed bent over like that, their heads practically touching. Every second that passed felt like a hammer strike to my chest. My little girl glowed under Delaney’s attention. As much as it filled my heart to see her smiling, I felt like a fucking failure. Clearly, she needed something I hadn’t been giving her. Something a stranger could see so easily that was lacking.
At one point, Delaney lifted her head and found me still standing next to the trunk of a rigid old pine. Her eyes softened at the edges like she could read my fucking mind.
Then Eli stopped by to hand his sister her lunch and the connection was broken. I shook myself out of whatever the hell happened between us, vowing that I’d find a way to forge my own bond with Wren. She didn’t need to rely on a woman who barely knew her, who’d be gone by the end of the summer.
I pushed away from the tree and stepped closer to where Eli and Wren had settled to eat their lunches. Wren’s sketchbook was closed next to her, and Eli was trying to barter his baby carrots for his sister’s chocolate chip cookie.
“Are you having a good time at camp?” I asked.
Wren looked up and smiled. “Miss Delaney said we’re going to start field journaling next week. She asked me if I wanted to teach some of the other kids how to draw.”
“That’s great, sweetie. Maybe you can show me some of your drawings when we get home tonight.” I didn’t want to push her too far too fast, but if she’d been willing to open up to a stranger, hopefully she’d be able to share with her own dad.
Her smile faded a bit. “They’re not really ready yet, Dad.”
“Hey, do they have fly fishing in Texas?” Eli interrupted.
“Yeah, they’ve got plenty of rivers down there.” I tried to keep my voice light, but my stomach twisted with the reminder that we’d be headed to Texas later this summer. I’d been back with the kids a few times since their mom and I split to visit my foster mother, but this would be the first time their grandparents wanted them to stay at their ranch. I’d tried not to let my concern show. Even though their mother had walked out on them, Eli and Wren deserved to know her side of the family. I just didn’t know what might come from it. That door had been closed for so long, I was afraid to crack it open.
“Oh, are you going to Texas soon?” Delaney stopped by with a bottle of sunscreen and squirted a little bit in the kids’ hands.
“At the end of the summer,” Eli said as he smeared the white lotion all over his face. “We’re going to visit our Grandma and Grandpa Rivers.”
It wasn’t exactly a secret, but I didn’t need my personal business spread all over town. “It’ll be a quick trip,” I added, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.
“If you’ll be anywhere near Big Bend, you should check it out. I haven’t had a chance to visit yet, but it’s like three parks in one,” Delaney said.
“What do you mean?” That caught Eli’s attention. He was always interested in the next big adventure.
“You’ve got access to the desert, forest, and the river right there. Plus, it’s so dark at night that you’re guaranteed to see more stars than you could count in an entire lifetime.” Her eyes lit up as she talked about it. We might have a different approach to our jobs, but deep down she was just as much of an outdoor enthusiast as I was.
“Can we go, Dad?” Eli bounced onto his toes.
“We’ll have to see. It’s half a state away from where your grandparents are.” Maybe I’d head out to Big Bend while they visited with their grandparents. It might be enough to distract me from worrying about things.
“You’d love it there,” Delaney said to Wren. “The rock formations have so many different colors and layers. You could probably spend days getting the right color combinations in your sketchbook.”
That was enough. I didn’t need the summer camp counselor filling my kids’ heads with ideas that I wouldn’t be able to follow through on.
“Do you think we could go?” Wren turned toward me, her entire face filled with hope.
I silently cursed Delaney as I crouched down in front of my daughter. “I’m not sure about this summer, but I promise I’ll take you there someday. How’s that?”
She tugged her bottom lip into her mouth and the hope faded away. “Sure, Dad.”
I felt the need to say something, but I couldn’t find the right words. So instead of reaching out and trying to forge a stronger connection, I straightened up and cleared my throat.
“Guess I’ll see the two of you later. Be careful in the creek. Watch your step because?—”
“The rocks are slippery,” Eli finished for me. “We know.”
“I’ll keep an eye on everyone,” Delaney reassured me.
No doubt she would. And wedge her way between me and my daughter in the process. I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. Seemed like the canyon between me and Wren had widened even further in the past half hour.
