A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Pull up your pants, Rae.”
“No. You promised me a tattoo. I’m not leaving until I get one.” I’d expected some resistance, but not a flat-out rejection. Doubt crept across my cheeks in a heated flush. I didn’t want to admit I’d been wrong. I’d seen the fire in his eyes last night. I couldn’t have imagined it.
“I can’t do it.” He scrubbed his hands over his cheeks. “You’re my best friend’s daughter. Jesus, Rae. What kind of man do you think I am?”
Sensing a tiny crack in his resistance, I reached for his shoulders. “I think you’re the kind of man who needs to be loved.”
He didn’t move. The tension between us filled the air. It was too thick to breathe, so I held my breath while I waited for him to respond.
“You’re wrong, Sunshine. It should have been me out there the night your dad got killed. I didn’t do my job, and I’m living the life I deserve.” The pain in his eyes stole the breath from my lungs. I knew he blamed himself for my dad’s death but had no idea what a toll it had been taking.
“It’s not your fault.” I skimmed my palm over his cheek. His whiskers rubbed against my skin. I wanted to feel them on my cheeks, on my neck, and on every inch of my body.
“You don’t know everything that happened that night. If I hadn’t been running late, I would have been the one sent out on that mission. I would have been the one driving when the IED went off. I would have been the one coming home in a body bag.” His eyes were wild with pain. “Don’t you get it, Rae? I’m the reason your father isn’t here.”
I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. “Shhh. It was an accident. No one knows what would have happened if you hadn’t been running late. You can’t keep blaming yourself.”
I rubbed slow circles over his back while I clung to him. His arms wrapped around my back, pulling me close. My heart split into two—so happy to finally be in his arms, yet so torn up over the guilt and pain he’d been holding in for so many years.
“We shouldn’t be here like this.” He pulled away first. “It’s safe for you to go home, and I’ve been a selfish bastard for keeping you at my place.”
“I want to stay with you.” Determined not to let this last chance slip by without letting him know exactly how I felt about him, I cupped his cheeks between my palms.
“I’ll have the guys take shifts to keep an eye on your apartment. You’ll be safe. I promise.”
“I don’t think you’re listening. I want to be with you.” Lifting his head up, I forced his gaze to lock with mine. “I want you, Priest.”
His hand slid up my spine to cradle the back of my skull. I could see the war waging inside him. He wouldn’t go back on his word. If I wanted to prove to him that we were meant to be together, it would be up to me to make the first move.
I closed the few inches between us and gently pressed my lips against his.
“Rae, please don’t,” he whispered, even as he kissed me back.
“Tell me to stop, and I will,” I promised, taking the kiss a bit deeper.
“I can’t.” He took control of the kiss, capturing my mouth with his as his tongue demanded entrance.
My lips parted. He angled my head back to slide his tongue against mine. Joy exploded in my chest. I’d always known it would be good between us, but I’d never imagined the incomparable happiness that radiated out to every single cell in my body. This was what I’d wanted, what I’d always needed. Now that I’d had my first taste of him, I was never going to give him up.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he mumbled into my mouth.
“We should have been doing this a long time ago.” I pulled back and stared him down. There was no way I’d let him ruin this moment. “I love you, Priest. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t. It’s always been you for me.”
“Baby, I…” He shook his head like he hoped he’d be able to shake off his feelings.
“Just say you love me back, and everything will be okay.” I waited with my heart lodged in my throat for him to say those three words. Every wish I’d ever made culminated in this moment.
“I shouldn’t. I’m a weak ass sonofabitch for even entertaining the idea of letting myself love you.” The intensity in his eyes made me want to bury my face into his neck and hold him until he believed me that everything would be alright.
“Don’t fight it.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “What the hell else am I supposed to do?”
The answer was so simple. “Love me.”
“I already do, Sunshine.”
“Then show me.” I tangled my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his head down to mine. Whatever inner demons had warred with him before had been conquered. There was nothing but love in the way he skimmed his rough fingertips over my cheeks and took control.
