2
ROXY
On Sunday afternoon, I changed my outfit three times before I finally left home. I settled on a pair of jeans that looked like they’d been broken in, even though I’d probably only worn them once. Paired with a Longhorns hoodie and a pair of scuffed ropers, I hoped I’d achieved a casual look that would hide how terrified I was inside.
I followed the directions Jake had texted me. We’d agreed to meet by one of the pastures away from the big ranch house out at the Calhoun place. Even though I’d spent most of my younger years in boarding schools, everyone knew about the Calhouns. The quadruplets made the paper almost every week in high school since they all played on the same football team. Now they were all grown up and ran the ranch with their dad, the same way my two older brothers were involved in the day-to-day operations of our place.
My tires crunched on the dirt road as I turned off the pavement. It was only a little after four, but the sun was already hanging low in the sky. Hopefully, I’d be on my way home before it set. The only thing I could think of that was worse than getting back up on a horse would be trying to do it in the dark.
I rounded a bend in the road and caught sight of a small horse trailer hooked up to the back of an old truck. At least he was on time, though I wouldn’t have minded if he’d been late or even a no show. My nerves had been jumping for the past four days, ever since I ran into the tall, good-looking cowboy and convinced him to help me conquer my fear of getting back up on a horse.
He tipped his cowboy hat in my direction as I got out of the car and walked toward him. “It’s a nice afternoon for a ride.”
Forcing a tight smile, I nodded. “If you say so.”
“Where’s your cousin?” He shot a glance at my car like he was expecting someone else to join us. “Is she running late?”
“Um, about that. There is no cousin.” I rubbed my clammy palms against my jeans.
“I don’t get it.” His eyes narrowed. “You hired me to help your cousin learn how to ride. Is this a joke?”
I shook my head. Just spit it out, Roxy, before the cowboy gets frustrated and leaves.Steeling myself for his reaction, I curled my fingers into fists and forced myself to speak.
“The cousin is me. I’m the one who needs to learn how to ride again. Not so much learn to ride, but to get back up on a horse.” I waited for relief to wash through me, but it didn’t come.
“I don’t get it. Why didn’t you say so when we met at Lloyd’s?” His eyes narrowed even more, like he thought I was trying to pull one over on him.
“Because I don’t want anyone to know.” I broke eye contact and focused on a spot in the dirt a few inches in front of my feet. “My family rides in the Christmas parade every year. When I was ten, I was on a big chestnut mare. She got spooked and bucked me off.”
Memories of that day washed over me. I could smell the cinnamon sugar from the candied pecans and feel the saddle under my ass again. In one moment, everything changed.
“What happened?” Jake asked, his voice soft and gentle.
“I landed in the middle of Main Street and ended up with two broken arms and a concussion. We were supposed to go on a huge family vacation right after Christmas, but had to stay home because of me.” I lifted my chin and met his gaze for a split second before I had to look away. “I haven’t been on a horse since.”
“So, why now?”
I pulled a deep breath in through my nose. “I’m an embarrassment to my family. My dad’s even sending me up to Oklahoma City after the first of the year to work with a friend of his because he can’t stand to have me around. This might be the very last time we can ride in the parade as a family. I lied about my cousin needing lessons because I don’t want anyone to know. I’m not sure I can do it.”
It just about killed me to bare my soul to a stranger like that, but I needed help. I’d tried getting back up on a horse on my own and had never even been able to make it into the stall. Being the daughter of a man who’d turned his ranch into an empire and being too scared to get up on a horse had alienated me from my family. It was time for me to get over my fear.
“I don’t think I’m the right guy for this. Have you tried talking to someone? A therapist or something?” Jake tucked his thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans. The poor guy was clearly uncomfortable.
“Yes. My parents tried everything when I was still a kid. Talk therapy, exposure therapy, even anti-anxiety meds to see if that would take the edge off. I made a little progress, but still haven’t been on the back of a horse. Will you help me, Jake?” God, I hated asking people for help, especially a stranger. And especially a stranger who looked at me the same way Jake looked at me now—with pity and compassion in his dark brown eyes.
“I’m just a ranch hand.” He shook his head.
I could sense what was coming next. He was going to let me down easy, suggest I seek professional help, and probably go back to the ranch and warn all the other guys to steer clear of the nutso blonde who had an irrational fear of horses.
“Money’s not an issue. I’ll pay you whatever you want.”
“It’s not about the money.” He sighed and glanced down at his feet. “I’m not qualified.”
“What if we give it a try? You’ve already loaded up the horse and drove all the way out here.” I held my breath, waiting for him to give me an answer. I couldn’t explain why it was so important to me to do this, but I felt it deep in my bones. If I wanted to be a part of my family’s legacy, I needed to be able to work on the ranch. And if I wanted to work on the ranch, I had to be able to ride a damn horse.
“I can’t be held responsible for what might happen.” A muscle ticked along his jawline as he lifted his head and met my gaze.
“Understood. I’m a grown up and will take full responsibility for my actions.” Nodding, I tried to tamp down the nervous excitement building in my belly. If he agreed, I’d be one step closer to mastering my fear. But if he agreed, I’d also be dragging up a hell of a lot of memories from the past that I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to face.
