It wasn’t.
He came by every night over the next week, and we even fit in two more riding lessons. I was getting more and more comfortable with Trixie. After another weekend spent ignoring the rest of the world, Sunday night arrived. Jake pulled me out of bed and told me it was time for me to practice riding alone if I wanted to be ready in time for the parade.
I wasn’t ready to pop the protective bubble we’d surrounded ourselves with, but he was right. So, I climbed into his truck and we headed toward the Calhoun ranch. This late on a Sunday evening, there wasn’t anyone around when we entered the barn. I was confident enough with Trixie to saddle her myself. Jake saddled up his own horse before coming over to check my progress.
“Make sure it’s nice and tight there.” He tested the strap that went under Trixie’s belly. “Looks good. You ready for this?”
“Yes, but also no.” I smiled and shook my head at the same time. My fear held my heart in an icy grip that melted with one look from Jake.
“You’ve got this, and I’ll be right there with you the whole time.” He nodded toward the saddle. “Up you go, Queen of Christmas.”
Once I was up in the saddle, I grabbed hold of the reins. Running a hand along Trixie’s neck, I leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “There are a couple of carrots waiting for you if both of us make it back in one piece.”
She stomped her foot and nodded her head like she understood my promise.
“Ready?” Jake looked every inch an authentic cowboy as he flung a long leg over the midnight black horse he usually rode when he was working on the ranch.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said, eager to be back under the covers with nothing to worry about except for how many times Jake would be able to make me come.
“Such an eager beaver.” His lips split into a wide grin.
“You have no idea,” I teased.
He led the way out of the barn, and I directed Trixie to fall into step next to him. With a cold front heading our way over the next week, the temperature had started to fall. I flexed my fingers inside the fleece-lined gloves and tried not to think about the fact I was sitting on a horse all by myself.
Trixie ambled along, strong and steady. I trusted her, just like I trusted Jake. As we turned off the gravel and followed the fence line, I even relaxed a little. The gentle sway of her even steps filled me with confidence.
“How are you holding up over there?” Jake asked.
“So far so good. Tell me how you ended up at Mama Mae’s.” During our previous rides together, he’d kept my mind from straying by filling the silence with stories about him and his foster brothers. I’d learned all about the time he spent at Mama Mae’s and the experiences he’d had since he started working at the Calhoun Ranch. The one area we’d never talked about was his family. The closer we became, the more I wanted to know.
“It’s not a happy story. You sure you want to hear it?” His lips still curved into a smile, but the light fizzled from his eyes as he looked at me.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. Why don’t you tell me about the rocking chair you ordered from Lloyd Junior instead?”
“I’ll tell you about both.” He faced forward, his jaw tight. “My mom passed when I was about ten. Drug overdose. She’d been using as long as I could remember, and I’d already been in and out of foster care a few times before she finally left me for good. I’ve never met my dad, so I entered the system.”
“Oh, Jake. I’m so sorry.” My heart cracked listening to how the adults in his life had failed him.
“Don’t be. Her dying was probably the only thing that saved me. Even at ten, I’d gotten involved with the guy she’d been shacking up with. He had me running drugs and making deliveries to people in our apartment building. I guess he figured no one would think to bust a kid.”
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t know. That was up in Dallas. I stayed with a few different families but kept getting sucked back in. They finally transferred me down here. I guess they thought I’d be safer out in the middle of nowhere than living in the city. Mama Mae took me in, straightened me out, and gave me a second chance.” He glanced over at me and rolled one of his big shoulders. “She was the angel I needed.”
I hadn’t had a chance to meet Mama Mae, and since Jake and I were only fake dating until Christmas, I probably never would. “She sounds like an amazing woman.”
“You’d like her. She reminds me of you in a way.”
“How’s that?” I didn’t think I had anything in common with a woman who seemed to possess the strength of an entire army.
“Neither one of you gives up easily. Both of you make a man feel like his worth has more to do with what’s inside him than what you can see on the surface. It’s a compliment, Roxy. I hope you’ll take it as such.”
My cheeks tingled. Hearing him compare me to the foster mother he revered filled my heart with wonder. “Maybe I’ll get to meet her someday.”
“I’d really like that. The chair I was paying for… her husband gave it to her when they got married. One of the boys living out at her place now got mad and took out his anger on it with a hatchet.” Jake stopped next to a gate leading into a huge empty pasture.
“Those chairs cost a small fortune.”
