Hell, I barely knew the woman, and I wasn’t interested in starting a family with a stranger. The few times we’d spent together hadn’t left me with a memorable impression of her, anyway. The beautiful redhead was just that: beautiful. Not a single personality trait aside from that to be found anywhere near her.
Children held very little interest in my life so far. But I couldn’t imagine having children with a woman as cold as her. Her lack of depth left a lot to be desired.
“I don’t want to hear any talk of the wedding right now,” I told her, finality present in my voice. She looked as if she wanted to argue, but didn’t. Instead, she put on her usual beautiful smile, which held nothing behind it, winking cheekily as she began opening my robe.
“Fine, we’ll drop the wedding talk for now. There are other things that we could get up to instead—”
“Crystal,” I sighed, quickly putting my hand over hers. “No thank you, I—” I didn’t feel like dealing with the embarrassment that came along with me not being able to… perform… because of my condition, yet again. The doctors couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with me. All we knew was that my physical health had been in decline for the past couple of years. It began with tingling and then numbness in my limbs and then it became progressively worse. Some days it was difficult to get out of bed because I hardly had any energy and I getting around without a wheelchair was a very painful task. My speech had also been affected by whatever condition this was. And… I hadn’t been able to get up an erection either. “I’m not in the mood,” I told her instead.
She did a poor job of hiding the annoyance on her face, but even still, she sent me another perfectly practiced smile. “That’s okay, Jas… I can’t wait to be your wife. Maybe itwouldbe nice for us to wait until the honeymoon—”
“I don’t think that us getting married is a good idea anymore,” I told her, unable to keep my feelings to myself any longer. I couldn’t keep pretending I wanted this when I didn’t.
The carefully curated smile slipped off her face as if it was ice cream melted by the scorching sun, and tears rapidly gathered in her eyes as she stood suddenly, staring at me with cold eyes and curled fists.
“I don’t want to hear you say that again, Jasper King,” she spat. “The invitations have already been sent out and you can’t go back on your word! If you need me, I’ll be entertaining our guests.”
She stormed out of the room too quickly for me to get another word out, and I sighed, shaking my head.
I didn’t even have the time to gather my thoughts before there was another knock on the door, a frustrated groan threatening to escape me as the door crept open again. I was relieved, however, to see that this time it was Nigel.
“Nigel, finally!” I grinned at the tall black man as he came inside. Nigel had been my caregiver ever since I’d first started dealing with my illness, and he was one of the few people who worked in this mansion who didn’t drive me up the wall. “Thank God! Crystal was just in here going on and on about the stupid party and our stupid wedding.” I rolled my eyes. “I thought she’d never leave.”
“I saw her storming out.” Nigel rubbed a hand over his bald head before letting out a sigh. “Sir, I know what you want me to do, but I don’t think this is a good idea. It’s much too risky and I don’t think—”
“Nigel,please,” I nearly begged. “I can’t make it off this estate without your help, and Ineedto make it off this estate. I can’t go through with that wedding, and I can’t keep allowing everyone else around me to make life-changing decisions for me without my approval or consent! I know they mean well, but my illness didn’t rob me of my mental faculties. They’re planning my entire life for me as if I have no say! Well,” I scoffed. “Let’s see them try to plan a wedding with no groom.”
“I understand your reasons, sir. Believe me, I do! And I’m happy to help in any way that I can, but… You are aware that this is only a temporary reprieve to your situation, aren’t you? In fact, this might make things worse in the long run.”
“I appreciate your help, Nigel, and I know I’ve put you in a tough position. I wouldn’t do that unless I truly needed to.” I sent him my sincerest look, hoping he’d know everything I said was true. “Ihaveto get off this estate—even if only for a little while—or Iwillgo crazy.”
He stared at me for a few moments, contemplating, before slowly nodding. “If you’re sure this is what’s best for you, then… Come on.”
“Thank you.” I was relieved as I moved to the edge of the bed, grabbing hold of the wheelchair Nigel had aligned with it.
My eyes nearly burned a hole in the floor as Nigel grabbed me under my arms and gently lifted me before lowering me onto the wheelchair.
He went to retrieve some clothes for me out of the walk-in closet. I tried my best to swallow down the oh-so-familiar burning shame that filled me as he came back and helped me change into a pair of dark jeans and a black sweater. Plus, a black cap for good measure.
I cursed my useless legs as I was treated like an infant again, incapable of doing something as simple as changing my own clothes. It never seemed to get any easier. The humiliation never decreased as time went by, and the sick feeling it left me with never went away.
Since being placed on medication without a clear diagnosis two years ago, my paralyzing condition had slowly crept over every aspect of my life, robbing me of any and all control. I never left the manor these days, unable to face the drastic changes that came with trying to function as a disabled person in day-to-day life.
Disabled or not, though, I wasn’t going to be railroaded into Eddie’s scheme.
“I’ve parked the van in the staff parking lot, near the kitchen,” Nigel told me as he crouched on the ground, sliding my boots onto my feet.
“Ah. So, we just have to make it past the foyer without being seen,” I murmured aloud. “Easy!”
Nigel raised an eyebrow as if to silently argue, but he nodded anyway. “Easy.”
“Will you collect the money from my safe? Behind my mother’s portrait.” Nigel was one of the most trustworthy men I knew, if notthemost. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him my deepest secrets. Given the current situation, it was safe to say I had.
He carefully moved the portrait to the side and put in the combination I told him before pulling out the large wad of cash I had stashed away. I tucked the money in my back pocket, glancing around to make sure I hadn’t left anything important behind as he began pushing my chair out of the room.
I caught sight of my cellphone still resting on the nightstand, but I figured it’d be best not to take it.
One less way for me to be tracked down.
