“Yeah, OK, but, hewouldhave, if he had reached out to you evenonceover the last three years. Lexie. Look, as your friend, I have to be the voice of reason here.” He turns and takes me by the arms, looking directly into my eyes. “You and Liam are over.”
I bite my lip, but nod.
“He’s dangerous.”
A little thrill zips through me at that; Liam was always a little haywire, always a little too sharp and a little too quick. But it made me feel safe with him.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt safe.
“Lexie,” says Ramsay, prodding. “He’s dangerous. You can’t have that kind of guy around your kids.”
His kids.I look up into Ramsay’s wide eyes, and realize how afraid he is. Not for me, I don’t think—for him. Ramsay is afraid I’ll go back to Liam.That makes two of us.For a second, the picture is totally clear, unflinching and acute: Liam, meeting his daughters, seeing his eyes in theirs; us, together, figuring it out, falling in love again, like we did when we were so much younger, so much more foolish. There’s a universe where that happens. Where Liam and I say fuck the world, fuck the past, and find each other again.
“He didn’t callonce,” Ramsay presses, and this time, his words, his meaning, pierce the veil.
He’s right. I know he’s right. This dream playing out in my head—it’s just a fantasy anyway. Liam and I are too different. We’ve told too many lies. We’ve grown apart.So why do I still want him as much as I did then?
Yes, there’s a universe where we make it work. But it’s not this one.
“You’re right,” I say, and he is, but when Ramsay opens his arms for a hug, I give him a sharp Liam-like smile and say, “Not that right,” and brush past him and duck into the office to get back to work.
3
Liam
“OK, honestly, how much do youreallyneed to do that?” Margot leans against the doorframe, a Corona in one hand, brow raised as I do push-ups. “You’re already jacked. What’s the goal from here? Incredible Hulk? Or something more modest—Arnold Schwarzenegger?”
“Shut up,” I say between sets. “You’re just jealous.”
“Of what, your self-imposed misery?” She crouches in front of me and takes a long, dramatic sip of her beer. “Ahh. That’s the taste of freedom. Now who’s the jealous one?”
I grin and sit up, wiping sweat from my forehead. “Give me that.”
“Get one yourself.” She stands up and stretches, taking in the guest room. She keeps it clean and spare, and I’ve done nothing to change that. It’s not like I have trunks full of shit to unpack. “Wow. Really homey. I love what you’ve done with the place.”
I stand up and stretch, grab a towel from the desk pushed up against one wall. I mop sweat from my face. “How long do you want me to stay?”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?” But I give her a smile.
“Like you don’twantto be here. I don’t need you here, you know.” She shrugs. “I’ve gotten very used to being alone. In fact, I relish it now. If you left, I probably wouldn’t even notice.”
I chuckle. “Alright, fine. A month, then. Then I start looking for my own place.”
“Ugh, if you must.” But I see the light flare in her eyes. She’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her, and when we’re together, it’s harder to miss Dad. “Where will you go?”
“I’ll stay in town for a while. Got a feeling this Jockey shit is going to take some time.” I sit on the edge of the bed and run a hand over my hair. It’s been a few days, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just about crawling out of my skin. I’m lucky not to have to worry about parole, but I’ve still been trying to lie low. And with Margot working as much as she does, I’ve had nothing but time on my hands.Like I never left prison.“I’m gonna start looking for him, you know.”
Margot nods. She leans against the desk and drinks her beer pensively. “What’s your plan when you find him?”
Make him pay.“I don’t know.”
“Liam—”
“I’m not gonna kill him, if that’s what you mean.” I’ve thought about it. A lot more than I’d like to admit. But while Jockey’s the little bitch with the big mouth that brought some upstarts into town—in his own way, responsible for Milo’s death—he’s not the top guy, not by a long shot. And until I figure out whothatis and how to take care of him, well—there’s not much I can do. “Margot, you know anything about them? Those guys?”
She gives a noncommittal half-shrug. “Yes and no.”
