I order another beer, and the three of us drink in silence, everyone keeping their own secrets, and not willing to share them quite yet.
* * *
“You think I don’t know it’s stupid?” On the roof of my building, I pace, more anxious about tonight than I’d care to admit. Dusk falls, rusty and dismal, over the city. “It’s fucking absurd. That’s why I’m calling.”
My father is silent for a long moment on the other end of the phone. “It’s Maya’s father. It must be. He got her mixed up in this.”
“To the same fucking end you’ve gottenmemixed up in it.”
“Watch your mouth, Nikolai.”
I check my anger, running a hand over my face. I hate how vulnerable I feel. No—how impotent. It’s Zane who feels vulnerable to me, like a heart beating outside of my chest. “Look. You and Uncle Artur are clearly playing the same game, OK? You want me in charge, he wants Maya in charge. Whoever gets the bigger kill wins, right? So what does it matter if you two are doing this shit behind each other’s backs?”
It occurs to me that my father and uncle’s deceptions lie perilously close to mine and Maya’s. Maybe that’s why I’m trying to make any kind of dishonesty in this business seem acceptable.
My dad clearly thinks the same. “The surest loyalty is blood. If you can’t trust your family, you can’t trust yourself.”
I don’t immediately reply. I sag against the chipped cement barrier. It strikes me suddenly just how tired I am. “Maya is going to kill Lebedev, Dad. Or if she doesn’t, she’ll at least be blowing our cover. This may be our only shot at getting answers out of the bastard. Figuring out what he knows. Who he’s really connected to. What fail-safes he has in place in the event of his death.”
The other line is quiet a while. “That’s not why you want my resources tonight.”
Fuck. I can’t let him guess any ulterior motive. I steady my voice. “Listen. If you want any of us out alive, this is how we pull it off.”
“You mean if I wantZaneout alive.”
I clench my jaw. If he thinks I’m slipping, even a little, any shot at getting his help tonight is lost. And without it, Zane is in more danger than ever. “She’s not converting me. She’s not anything.”
“Really?”
“I told you. I can do this.”
“But do you really want to, son?” My father’s voice is low and inscrutable. “Do you really want to take up this mantle? Do you want to rule as I have ruled? You’ve always had a softness to you, as well as you’ve learned to hide it. Your mother worried you’d never adapt to this life of ruthlessness and sacrifice. But I told her you were my son. That this world is yours to inherit. To rule.”
I gaze out at the streaked sky, faint stars winking into existence along the horizon. Maya wants to tear them all down and rule her own way. But if her takeover fails, we’ll all be screwed.
Loyalty is all that matters.
If I want to survive; if, more importantly, I want Zane tolive, I can’t fight Maya’s war. Anarchy isn’t the answer. Obedience is.
Soldier.
“I do,” I say, straightening, making my voice strong and clear. “I want this. I want to make you proud.”
“It will cost you. There is always a cost, Nikolai.”
I imagine a world without Maya. Then I imagine a world without Zane, my father, my family, the business, the security, the safety.
Zane is my wife now. She must come first. Even at the cost of betraying my cousin.
“Can you have men there tonight?” I ask my father, making my voice as cold and sharp as a diamond. “Or not?”
12
Zane
“Are you sure this is the right place?” I manage to keep the quaver from my voice, accepting the cigarette Nikolai lights for me. When our fingers touch, a zip of electricity goes down my spine. Grimly, I realize how grateful I am that we got to sleep together. If I die tonight, at least I’ll have that. A tenuous connection that could possibly have been so much more. “It doesn’t look like much.”
“It never does.” For all her posturing, Maya is clearly agitated. She paces the waterfront storage area like a trapped animal. I watch her closely, searching for some kind of crack. This could all be a setup. But is Maya capable of getting me and Nikolai killed? And to what end? Could she really be working for Lebedev? “JesusChrist, where are they? It’s fucking half past.”
