“You look worried,” I say softly. And I let myself go to him, stopping enough distance away that we’re not touching. “They have to know she’s here, right?” After all, we were being watched.
Nik’s jaw tenses. He looks out into the dark wilderness below and nods once. “I can’t figure out why they haven’t made a move yet.”
“Lebedev, or your father?”
“Both,” he says, running a hand over his face. “But my father more than Yvan. Yvan’s got time—and if Maya did a good enough job of proving her loyalty over the last few years, he probably thinks she’s still operating for him. I can’t think why my dad wouldn’t have come in and taken her, or at least checked we’re not up to anything. They must think she’s in deep for them too.”
I bite my lip. I don’t want to distrust Maya—or Nik, come to think of it—but the shifting loyalties of the mafia have always made me feel naïve and malleable.
Maya seemed to mean every word she said. But if she didn’t, my father’s life is on the line. I’ve never been much good at lying or manipulation, but to protect him, I will tarnish every inch of my own conscience, just as he has for me.
“Unless he’s waiting,” I say softly. Nik looks at me sideways, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed. “Unless they’re all waiting for this to play out—for something to happen.”
“You mean for a winner to make themselves known.”
“Or to get the dirty work out of the way.” I wrap my arms around myself. “The three of us will have to kill Lebedev one way or another. But they might think I’ll die in the process, or at least be endangered enough to get my father to surrender whatever information he’s still hiding.”
“Or that one of us will slip up and do something stupid, and take us out of the running.” Nik runs his hands through his curls, and it takes more concentration than it should not to appreciate the way his chest and arms flex as he does so. “Why the fuck are they doing this? Why can’t they just trust us to be loyal?”
“It’s their empire,” I say. “And honestly, with the things my father has pulled, can you blame them for trying to root out disloyalty early? There could be more too, you know. Your father and uncle could know they’re endangered somehow, maybe because of Lebedev himself, or his Russian connections. Maybe they want to get a new leader in place in case they’re taken out unexpectedly.”
Nikolai faces me suddenly, his face so intense I take a step back. He catches my arm with one warm, rough hand. “You’re so much smarter than I give you credit for.”
“Nik—”
“I always think of you as the innocent one, but you’re not innocent. Are you?” He takes a step forward, forcing me back. My shoulders hit the wall, heart hammering. His green eyes are blazing. “You’re playing this as much as Maya is. As much as our fathers are. What are you going to say next, Zane? Hm? That you’re working for Lebedev too? That you’re buried as deeply in this as the rest of us?”
“Nik,” I say, on a gasp. His grip is firm, but not painful, and his breathing is fast and hard, muscular chest rising and falling rapidly.He’s scared,I realize. “Nik.”
“Say it,” he growls. “Admit you’re no different. You left, but you never reallyleft,did you, Zane?”
“Nik,” I plead, trying to soothe him, trying to prove to him that he’s wrong. “Iaminnocent—”
He shoves me hard against the wall, kissing me suddenly.
I gasp, palms against his chest as he expertly parts my lips with his and thrusts his tongue into my mouth.
I’ve never kissed him before, not like this, not even close. I’m astonished at how immediately my body surrenders, at how quickly I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer.
Hunger takes me over, sudden and frantic, a door to freedom from the last week of terror and claustrophobia. His body is lithe and powerful, every inch of muscle hard as steel beneath the warm velvet of his skin. And he tastes of whiskey, delicious and burning, his tongue deft and skilled in my mouth—
He breaks away suddenly, staggering back from me, the back of one hand against his lips. His eyes are wide and animal-bright.
I’m panting. The kiss didn’t last long, but it was intense and hungry and I can barely catch my breath. My heart slams against my ribs, and I sag against the wall. My eyes snag on his body—it’s clear that kiss did exactly for him what it did for me.
I want him.
The realization tilts the floor beneath my feet. I grip the windowsill for balance.
“I’m sorry,” Nik says. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m…”
“No,” I say softly. “Don’t. Don’t apologize.”
“I shouldn’t touch you like that.”
I lift my eyes, find his face haunted.What if I want you to?The fever in that gaze is penetrating, vivid. Thrilling. “It's OK. I promise.”
“No. It’s not. You’re not—”
